[Intro] I brought a dictionary to a fire drill Turns out every word gets hot when the house is real [Verse 1] I call it a weather pattern, pressure in the ceiling A cloud with a briefcase, conducting bad feelings The roof keeps receipts, every leak is itemized I smile like a landlord while the rent gets revised My patience is a library, the shelves are on strike Every book says “calm down,” none of them tell me why I’m a chef with a smoke alarm, seasoning the panic Serving jokes on a silver tray, presentation organic I say I’m fine—fine print, fine line, fine mess A synonym parade in a three-piece dress The problem wears cologne and introduces as fate Then leaves a little business card that says “please contemplate” I put my grief in parentheses, my fear in quotation marks Made a pun at the funeral, then apologized to the dark If laughter is a life raft, mine has a slow leak Still I keep rowing with a punchline every week [Chorus] Call it a storm, call it a test, call it whatever helps you stand I make a joke, I change the name, I keep the truth inside my hand If you hear me laugh, don’t assume the room is light Sometimes comedy’s a flashlight pointed straight into the night [Verse 2] I’m translating heavy luggage into portable distress A suitcase full of thunder with a handle made of stress My heart’s a hotel lobby, all the exits rearranged The clerk says, “Enjoy your stay,” like that makes anything less strange I’ve got a mortgage on tomorrow, foreclosure on today Borrowed confidence from strangers, interest due in May My mirror is a courtroom, every wrinkle gives a speech The jury keeps objecting when I practice being me I call the boss a dragon, call the meeting a cave Call my paycheck a magician—it disappears, brave The joke is doing overtime, the punchline needs a raise I’m unionizing metaphors and picketing my brain See, the serious thing is serious, I’m not hiding that fact I just put a tiny hat on it and teach it how to dance back You know that kind of sorrow that behaves in public spaces? Mine orders decaf, tips politely, then rearranges all the faces [Bridge] No, I’m not carefree, I’m carrying care with style I learned to fold a crisis so it fits beneath a smile And if the words seem fancy, that’s the armor in the gloss Sometimes naming every angle helps you measure what you’ve lost [Chorus] Call it a storm, call it a test, call it whatever helps you stand I make a joke, I change the name, I keep the truth inside my hand If you hear me laugh, don’t assume the room is light Sometimes comedy’s a flashlight pointed straight into the night [Outro] So here’s the plainest phrase beneath the verbal acrobatics: I’m trying to stay human while the world misplaces its manners No metaphor can fix it, but a metaphor can make a bridge And if you’ve crossed one too, you know exactly where this is
