[Funky guitar instrumental intro] [verse] Met a bloke in a pub who said, “Fancy a chat?” Five minutes in and we’re talking ‘bout “THAT” Not the game, not the music, not of films or TV, just inane conversation ‘bout what he could give me Group Response His “todger”, his “weener”, his “extra leg” But from where I am sitting It’s attached to his head Pre-Chorus (Group) Why’s it always got a title? Why’s it always got a name? It’s the only body part With its own PR campaign. [Chorus] It’s just a penis (mate) Not Excalibur pulled from a stone It’s just a penis (mate) So why you actin’ like the dog who’s got the bone [Chorus] It’s just a penis (mate) Not the legend of some Viking folklore (It’s just a penis) It’s just a penis (mate) Don’t wanna talk about it anymore Verse 1 (Lead) Met a guy in the club who said, “You look good” Within seconds he’s talking ‘bout his manhood Not the news, politics, or the climate of earth Just bragging about his length and his girth Group Response His “pecker”, his “member” His “schlong”, or his “dong” But from where I am sitting I’m just thinking - ‘So long’ Pre-Chorus (Group) Why’s it always got a title? Why’s it always got a name? It’s the only body part That seems to have no shame [Chorus] It’s just a penis (mate) Not Excalibur pulled from a stone It’s just a penis (mate) So why you actin’ like the dog who’s got the bone [Chorus] It’s just a penis (mate) Not the legend of some Viking folklore (It’s just a penis) It’s just a penis (mate) And I ain’t inter-rested anymore It’s just a penis (mate) (penis, penis, penis) It’s just a penis (mate) (penis, penis, penis) It’s just a penis (mate) (penis, penis, penis) It’s just a penis … And you’re a penis too … Mate! [Extended instrumental dance interlude] [Bridge] The “Captain” The “Rocket” The “Chief” or The “boss” Whatever you call it Couldn’t give a toss “Punisher” “Destroyer” “Weapon” “The Beast” [Pause] It all sounds so aggressive … [Spoken] “somebody call the police” [Extended instrumental italo piano dance breakdown] [Chorus] It’s just a penis (mate) Not Excalibur pulled from a stone It’s just a penis (mate) So why you actin’ like the dog who’s got the bone [Chorus] It’s just a penis (mate) Not the legend of some Viking folklore (It’s just a penis) It’s just a penis (mate) So I wouldn’t be so … cock sure It’s just a penis (mate) (penis, penis, penis) It’s just a penis (mate) (penis, penis, penis) It’s just a penis (mate) (penis, penis, penis) It’s just a penis … And you’re a penis too … Mate!
