[Intro | Spoken confession] I run too many Drakkenheims. I know that now. There was probably a point where this was still reasonable. One campaign, maybe two. A doomed city. Five factions. A meteor. Simple. Now I have to ask which group found the Black Ivory Inn, which group burned their bridge with the Lanterns, which group thinks the Queen of Thieves is their friend, and which group made a home out of the Rat’s Nest Tavern. I run too many Drakkenheims. And every single one is worse. [Verse 1] One party entered Emberwood Like heroes at the start They asked around, they took good notes They had such open hearts Another rolled into town And lied to every face Within an hour, half the village Had them banned from the place One bought drinks at the Skull & Sword One threatened every guard One asked if delerium was edible And bit down very hard Same road, same fog, same ruined walls Same warning at the gate Six different groups of grown adults Invent six different fates [Chorus] Too many Drakkenheims Too many doomed campaigns Same broken crown, same falling stars Same city in the rain But one group saves the innocent One group starts a fight One group joins the worst faction And somehow thinks they’re right Too many Drakkenheims Too many ways to fall I built one cursed city Now I’m trapped inside them all [Verse 2] The Hooded Lanterns need support The Silver Order needs a purge The Academy needs samples And a quiet place to splurge The Falling Fire needs martyrs The Queen’s Men need a mark And every group that meets them Picks a different side of dark One table trusts Lucretia One thinks Marshal has a point One signs up with Runeweaver For a magical research joint One says, “Drexel seems honest” One says, “Drexel seems dead” One hears the Queen of Thieves speak once And follows her instead [Second Confession | Spoken] I used to know who the villains were. That was before the third campaign. Now villainy is more of a table-by-table condition. The Silver Order are saints on Tuesdays. War criminals on Fridays. The Academy are brilliant visionaries unless I’m running the group that calls them “purple cops.” The Queen’s Men are unforgivable criminals except in the campaign where they’re apparently “funny found family.” I run too many Drakkenheims. Morality has become a scheduling problem. [Verse 3] One party cleared the Chapel clean With reverence and dread Another looted saintly bones And blamed the nearby dead One solved the Black Ivory Inn With patience, fear, and grace One broke time, insulted ghosts And punched a horse in the face At Queen’s Park, one mourned Lenore And let the silence sting One saw a cursed enchanted pond And asked what they could bring The Rose Theatre made one group cry Another started schemes Some heard Ryan’s tragic song Some asked what loot she brings [Chorus] Too many Drakkenheims Too many doomed campaigns Same broken crown, same falling stars Same city in the rain But one group saves the innocent One group starts a fight One group joins the worst faction And somehow thinks they’re right Too many Drakkenheims Too many ways to fall I built one cursed city Now I’m trapped inside them all [Verse 4] At Temple Gate, one drew the line And stood against the tide Another tried diplomacy With monsters ten feet wide One party fears the Crater One wants to go tonight One heard “certain death awaits” And said, “Yeah, that sounds right” One group wants the royal seals One wants the holy flame One wants to sell the crown for parts And leave without a name Castle Drakken waits for all Above the poisoned sprawl But every road that leads there Leaves new blood on the walls [Break | Chanted Prayer] Dear gods of dice and scheduling, Have mercy on my soul Please let one group read the handout Please let one group have a goal Please let one suspicious stranger Not become their closest friend Please let one dramatic warning Not sound like “loot ahead” Please let one beloved NPC Survive the things they say And if that’s asking far too much Just kill them clean today [Verse 5] Same random tables, different crimes Same map, new bad decisions Same faction briefing turned somehow Into violent group revisions Same delerium, same Haze, same streets Same contaminated rain Same NPC I voiced with care Now dead in every campaign But never in the same way No, that would be too kind One was stabbed, one was betrayed One got left behind One was saved by total chance One became a joke One survived three boss fights Then died because they spoke [Final Chorus] Too many Drakkenheims Too many bells that toll Too many versions of one place Have eaten through my soul I built one cursed city Now I run it every night And every time they enter it They prove the book was right Drakkenheim is dead Drakkenheim survives Drakkenheim keeps coming back With different idiots inside [Ending | Spoken] I run too many Drakkenheims. The city is ruined. So am I. Same time next week?
