Bald Boy
[Intro] Yo, yo, turn the mic up! It's time to roast this bald-headed chair freak! Hexy! You little rat! Listen up! Yeah! Uh! Let's go! [Verse 1] Bald Boy Chair Fucker, that's your new name tag Got banned off Twitch, humping on a gaming swag Not a person, not a pet, nah, you chose the pleather Guess lonely nights hit different under synthetic leather Rat King Hexy, yeah, you lead the vermin pack Squeaking in the chat while you getting carried on your back Used to loop killers, DBD was your domain Now you hide in lockers, crying out in digital pain Every flashlight save, every pallet stun a ghost You gettin' tunneled first, bitch, you always doing the most Except playin' games, nah, you just click "Just Chatting" Promise Elden Ring then spend six hours just gabbing Yap yap yap, like a chihuahua on crack Nobody came for the life story, put the gameplay back! [Chorus] Bald Boy Chair Fucker, slick dome reflectin' light Wearin' cheap-ass wigs, tryin' hard to look alright Vampire wannabe, tats lookin' kinda weak Fang teeth chatterin', split tongue when you speak Whine all day, bitch all night, cryin' like a baby Thinkin' Gemini's your god, maybe you're just crazy Rode the short bus daily, explains the slow brain melt Now you violate furniture below the goddamn belt! Assclown! [Verse 2] Spooky Saturdays, more like Snoozy Saturdays Pause the damn video, every five seconds you stray "Hold up chat, wait chat, lemme tell you 'bout my lunch!" Nobody cares, Hexy! Stop ruining the spooky bunch! You ain't Ed or Lorraine, you just a content leech Pausing ghost hunts just to make another dumb speech Think you're edgy, think you're cool, with your tales of the past Claimed you had a special "card," hope that shit got revoked fast Talkin' tough online, but fragile as some glass We see right through you, man, you're a certified ass Your brain's stuck in beta, like an early access fail Send your whiny bald head back to Z1 on the mail! [Chorus] Bald Boy Chair Fucker, slick dome reflectin' light Wearin' cheap-ass wigs, tryin' hard to look alright Vampire wannabe, tats lookin' kinda weak Fang teeth chatterin', split tongue when you speak Whine all day, bitch all night, cryin' like a baby Thinkin' Gemini's your god, maybe you're just crazy Rode the short bus daily, explains the slow brain melt Now you violate furniture below the goddamn belt! Assclown! [Bridge] From H1Z1 king to a chair-humping meme Your whole career trajectory is a pathetic bad dream Rats follow blindly, defending your weird acts While you're dry-humpin' ottomans, ignoring all the facts You peaked years ago, now you're just a sideshow clown The most entertainment you give is when you're fallin' down Or gettin' banned for bein' a degenerate freak Next time, keep it in your pants, you absolute tweak! [Outro] Yeah! Bald Boy Chair Fucker! Hexy the Rat King! Get this dude outta here! Go hump a stool somewhere else! Pathetic! Stick to yappin', 'cause gaming ain't it! And stop pausing the damn videos!
