Carnival Of Horror

[Intro] Don't know how but they did it...I'm such a cowardly fuckin' man... Talked me into some scary shit but I really don’t think I actually can. Kids got me to agree...goin' somewhere I never dared. Gotta get prepared, I'm trying but shit, I'm already scared. [Verse One] Kids came home screamin' and my jumpy ass screamed as well. Hollered in fear so hard I shit myself, the smell was bout as bad as hell. They said, "Dad, the carnivals in town, we wanna go but you gotta come too." Kids were so excited but my worst nightmare was now about to come true. "Mom, can't take us and said we needed to ask you" they said together. I peeped out the window and said "Carnival? In this kind of weather?" It was sunny and warm...first time I ever prayed for a big scary storm. Just as I thought about a tornado my anxiety began to form. I was scared they'd kill me in my fuckin' sleep if I shot them down. "Oh-oh-Okay..." I shuddered as I contemplated about just leavin' town. So to this terrifyin' shit show my boys and I are fixin' to go... What horrors reside there I hoped I'd never ever fuckin' know... [Chorus] Something spooky waits for me at the carnival...home of all my fears... Can't let the kids see me cryin'...I'm lyin...they been watchin' me cry for years. Murder rides and corn-dog dildos thrown by a few drunken Russian mimes. Clown infested will likely be molested at least a half a dozen times. Oh I'm so oh oh oh fucking terrified all right... ...I'll prolly fuckin' die of fright but I say that every night. [Break] Pulled up slow lookin' for the safest spot but lookin' like safety the carnival has not. I sneak in super low...AHHHH...the boys whizz by I was scared my ass was caught. [Verse Two] All the rumors I made up in my head were all fuckin' true! Look at all the mimes... these creepy bastards brought the whole crew... Someone slammed a hammer and rang a bell shit got me nervous as hell. Runnin' for cover I caught a whiff of the single most unholy smell... ...and it really wasn't me this time...it was the stench of a crusty ol' carnie. A stink like that'll kill a rat as well as permanently fuckin' scar me... Light headed and wobblin' to and fro not sure where to go... ...didn't notice a pack of clowns creepin' up real slow... YEEEOWWWWW!!!...I clenched my ass so tight my cheeks sparked a flash of light. The dreaded long finger by three separate clowns...and they went in knuckles deep all right. They lifted my screamin' ass 5 inches off my feet... ...treated my baby ass like it was just a piece of meat... After a struggle and constant wails from my rape whistle the let me escape... But I'm afraid to say my asshole ain't in such fine shape... I hunkered deep in the broke down tilt-a-whirl ride... ...I can't...I tried...and I almost fuckin' died... Too terrified to take a peep an the shadows that creep... ...asshole whimperin' my bitch ass self to sleep. [Outro/Final Chorus] Some spooky shit happened at the carnival and now my ass is sore... Can't let the kids see me cryin'...I'm lyin...they've seen me cryin' before. Murder rides and corn-dog dildos thrown by a gang of drunken Russian mimes. Clown infested...I got molested...at least three fuckin' times. I got a ride home from a big scary woman with a beard... With a name like Mike I'm thinkin' it was just a man in drag I feared...