[Intro] They say you never forget your first. Mine was heavy. Loud. High maintenance. And Goddamn... THAT GIRL COULD SING. Her name was Big Betty. [Verse 1] Met Betty when I was younger, They put her right into my hands. Said, "Devil, this one's yours now." I didn't fully understand. She was heavy on my shoulder. She was hungry all the time. Two hundred rounds of attitude, And every one of 'em was mine. Every night out in the field, Betty slept right next to me. Close enough that if I needed her, That's where she would always be. Mud and rain and freezing weather, Kept that old girl fucking clean. And when that belt started running— GODDAMN, THAT GIRL COULD SING. [Chorus] SHE AIN'T BIG BETTY! She ain't belt-fed like my girl! Thirty rounds just don't feel right When Betty gave me two hundred at a whirl! Yeah, she's lighter. Yeah, she's tighter. They say she's everything I need. BUT THERE'S SOMETHING 'BOUT A BELT-FED GIRL THAT A MAGAZINE CAN'T BE. Big Betty's been retired. They say it's time I let her go. But if I'm holding someone new And thinking 'bout my old girl... IS THAT CHEATING? I DON'T FUCKING KNOW. [Verse 2] Years went by and I got older. Then I heard she'd been retired. The Core had found somebody new— The Em twenty-seven Eye-Ay-Ar. She's younger, leaner, lighter, And she's accurate as hell. Everybody swears she's better. And... She handles pretty well. She don't murder both my shoulders Every time we walk a mile. She's dependable and steady. Hell... SHE'S GOT HER OWN DAMN STYLE. But thirty rounds inside a magazine Just ain't the same somehow. BETTY HAD A VOICE LIKE THUNDER, AND I SWEAR I HEAR HER NOW. [Bridge] Betty, we had some rough nights. Mud and rain and freezing cold. I cursed every fucking pound of you Every mile that we patrolled. Funny how the weight I hated Is the weight I fucking miss. Maybe every generation Gets a weapon just like this. Something scratched and worn and filthy That went fucking everywhere. She's not Betty. She won't be. AND MAYBE THAT'S OKAY. [Final Chorus] SHE AIN'T BIG BETTY! No, she'll never be my girl! She ain't feeding from a belt And singing thunder to the world! But she's lighter. And she's tighter. And she's growing on me too. I CAN LOVE THE GIRL I'M HOLDING AND STILL MISS THE ONE I KNEW. Big Betty earned retirement. Maybe I should let her rest. The new girl's lying next to me... And I have to fucking confess— SHE AIN'T BELT-FED BIG BETTY... But... SHE'S PRETTY FUCKING GOOD, I GUESS. [Outro] [Band Drops Low] Then somewhere in the distance... I heard a voice I hadn't heard In a long, long fucking time. Heavy. Fast. That old familiar rhythm... I'd know that girl anywhere. ... Wait. BETTY?! [Rapid Drums And Chugging Guitar] BABY, I'M COMING! [Full Band Explodes] BIG BETTY!
