[Verse 1] I should be happy But I can’t quite smile So I hide the joy And wear a face Like nothing happened Feeling shy I look around Trying not to lose Trying not to get hurt Calculating For my own sake Putting my real feelings Off to the side Playing the version of me That lives inside my head [Pre-Chorus] I try to read What you are feeling The words I threw at you Come back Wearing another face And I think, “Why are you like this?” I feel disgust And step away [Chorus] Was it something I threw at you? Or something That was already in you? Was the thing I kept seeing Actually My own reflection? Without realizing It was a mirror I kept searching only For somewhere comfortable And there I found My real face The discomfort grows And keeps piling up [Verse 2] I avoided The people I disliked Left the places That made me uneasy Tried surrounding myself Only with things I loved And still somehow It kept appearing The same frustration The same uneasiness Every view Was completely different But somehow I always ended up In the same place And the noise Inside my heart Would begin again [Pre-Chorus 2] Then finally I remember the words What you do to others Comes back to you “Watch another person And correct yourself” A phrase I learned Before I understood What it meant Now it overlaps With what I see And little by little Everything connects [Chorus 2] I got angry And blamed someone Told myself “This isn’t good enough” Tried to discipline Myself Then became sad And every time I escaped Toward what felt easier Joy Anger Sadness Pleasure I thought They were all separate But right in the middle Of every one of them I had been standing there The whole time [Bridge] I changed the person Changed the place Changed the way I lived Kept searching For somewhere easier Kept choosing And choosing So why Did it never Become easier? Maybe the one I was running from Wasn’t somebody I hated Maybe It was me [Break] The one who felt joy And then felt ashamed Was me The one who calculated And performed Was me The one who hated And got angry Was me The one whose dreams died And ran toward comfort All of it Was me [Final Chorus] The moment I realized It was a mirror The scenery I hated Suddenly changed The things I blamed on you Not all of them But some of them Were inside me too Comfort Was never only Outside of me It had been here All along Joy Shyness Calculation Disgust Anger Sadness Even that brief pleasure Of running away None of it Was something I needed to throw away [Outro] Things I learned When I was small Only started making sense After living through So much more I spent so long Blaming The other side Of the mirror Until finally I turned And looked this way And standing there Still unchanged Was my own heart
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