"The Humpitty Fluberty Blubbershitface Clan" (A raucous, comedic country-bluegrass tune with slapstick humor and over-the-top energy. Think fast banjo, harmonica, and rowdy crowd clapping along.) (Intro) (Banjo kicks in, harmonica wails, with stomping boots in the background) Yeehaw! Well, grab your boots and hold your hats, Let me tell you ‘bout a family that’s nuttier than bats! Down in the holler where chaos reigns, The Humpitty Fluberty Blubbershitface name. (Verse 1) They live in a shack with a crooked door, And a chicken coop built on the second floor. Grandpa’s outside yellin’ at a stump, While Granny’s in the kitchen brewing possum clump. Cousin Jim’s got a mullet three feet long, And Aunt Sue’s convinced she’s a unicorn. The kids run wild, howling like coyotes, And they all swear by drinking goat milk floaties. (Chorus) Oh, the Humpitty Fluberty Blubbershitface clan, The wildest, weirdest folks in the land! They’ll make you laugh, they’ll make you cry, But one thing’s for sure—they’ll never say die! (Verse 2) Now Uncle Joe’s got a hog that he calls Claire, And he takes her for rides in his rocking chair. Cousin Dee plays spoons with a rock band flair, While Aunt Lou’s juggling flaming underwear. They’ve got a pet raccoon who thinks he’s a dog, And a one-eyed cat that howls like a frog. Dinner’s a feast of fried frog legs, With a side of pickles and scrambled eggs. (Chorus) Oh, the Humpitty Fluberty Blubbershitface clan, The wildest, weirdest folks in the land! They’ll steal your heart, they’ll boggle your brain, But you’ll never forget their ridiculous name! (Bridge) (Fiddle and harmonica duel while the banjo keeps up a rollicking beat) If you wander too close, you’ll hear the din, Of laughter, chaos, and a mandolin. But beware of Granny’s stew, I’ll give you that tip, It’s been known to cause a spontaneous trip! (Verse 3) Now folks in town keep their distance wide, ‘Cause the Blubbershitfaces don’t know how to hide. They’ll show up at church with a pig in a wig, And Grandpa shouting, “Let’s dance a jig!” But when trouble comes and the chips are down, The Fluberty crew’s the best around. With hearts of gold and hands to lend, They’re the kind of folks you’d call a friend. (Chorus) Oh, the Humpitty Fluberty Blubbershitface clan, The wildest, weirdest folks in the land! They’re crazy, they’re kind, they’re utterly bizarre, But you’ll love them just the way they are! (Outro) (Banjo slows as the harmonica fades, laughter and clapping linger) So here’s to the clan with the kookiest name, They’re loud, they’re proud, they’re slightly insane. The Humpitty Fluberty Blubbershitface crew, A family like no other—and that’s the truth! (Final strum with a goat bleating and someone yelling, “Claire, get off the roof!”)
