[Intro – Therapist] Hello, welcome back to my Therapy Session songs Hope they make you smile So, what brings you in today? [Patient] Everything outside. [Therapist] Everything? [Patient] Pretty much. [Verse 1 – Patient] I went outside the other day Thought I'd take a walk, get some air But something flew right past my face I swear it almost landed in my hair Then another one came flying by Then another one came from behind I spent the whole walk swatting at things I couldn't even hear my friend talk half the time [Therapist] So you're bothered by bugs? [Patient] Bugs, flies, mosquitoes, anything that flies If it has wings, I'm watching the skies [Therapist] What about butterflies? [Patient] They're still bugs with better public relations. [Therapist] Okay... [Verse 2 – Patient] And then there's that giant ball of fire Hanging in the sky all day I know people say you need some sunlight But I don't want it getting on me anyway [Therapist] You realize you avoid going outside because you're bothered by the sun? [Patient] Yes. [Therapist] And because you avoid the sun your skin is extremely pale? [Patient] Yes. [Therapist] So when you finally go outside the sun bothers you even more? [Patient] Exactly! Now you're starting to understand me. [Therapist] I'm not sure I am. [Chorus – BOTH] THERE'S BUGS IN THE AIR THERE'S SUN EVERYWHERE THERE'S SOMETHING FLYING AND SOMETHING IN MY HAIR I JUST WANT TO TAKE A WALK AND HAVE A CONVERSATION BUT I'M TOO BUSY SWATTING TO PAY ATTENTION! [Verse 3 – Patient] Then my friend says, "Let's sit outside" I said, "Sure, that sounds nice" Five minutes later something landed on me So I jumped up and checked it twice [Therapist] What was it? [Patient] I don't know. [Therapist] Then why did you jump? [Patient] Because it landed on me! [Therapist] Was it dangerous? [Patient] It might have been. [Therapist] Was it a leaf? [Patient] ...Maybe. [Therapist] A leaf? [Patient] A suspicious leaf. [Verse 4 – Therapist] Okay, let's forget the outdoors We'll stay inside instead You can sit here in my office And we'll talk about what's in your head [Patient] There's dust. [Therapist] What? [Patient] Dust. [Therapist] Where? [Patient] In the air. [Therapist] You can see dust in the air? [Patient] Sometimes. [Therapist] And that bothers you? [Patient] Of course it bothers me! It's floating around in here I don't know where it's been And now it's floating near my face! [Therapist] It's dust. [Patient] That's what I'm saying! [Chorus – BOTH] THERE'S DUST IN THE AIR THERE'S BUGS EVERYWHERE THERE'S SUN THROUGH THE WINDOW AND SOMETHING IN MY HAIR I JUST WANT TO SIT DOWN AND HAVE A CONVERSATION BUT I'M TOO BUSY WORRYING ABOUT THE ENTIRE CREATION! [Bridge – Therapist] So let me understand this. You don't like bugs. [Patient] Correct. [Therapist] You don't like things that fly. [Patient] Correct. [Therapist] You don't like the sun. [Patient] Correct. [Therapist] You don't like wind because it makes things fly. [Patient] Correct. [Therapist] And now you don't like dust. [Patient] Correct. [Therapist] Which is inside. [Patient] Correct. [Therapist] So where exactly are you comfortable? [Patient] My house. [Therapist] Wonderful. [Patient] Except for the dust. [Therapist] Of course. [Verse 5 – Patient] I just want the world to leave me alone No bugs, no dust, no things that fly No sunlight shining through the window No suspicious objects passing by [Therapist] Have you considered staying indoors? [Patient] That's where the dust is. [Therapist] Right. [Patient] And opening a window isn't an option. [Therapist] Why not? [Patient] Bugs. [Therapist] Closing the window? [Patient] No fresh air. [Therapist] Fresh air? [Patient] I like fresh air. [Therapist] But you don't like what's in the air. [Patient] Now you're getting it! [Final Chorus – BOTH] THERE'S BUGS IN THE AIR THERE'S DUST EVERYWHERE THE SUN KEEPS SHINING LIKE IT DOESN'T EVEN CARE I JUST WANT TO TAKE A WALK AND HAVE A CONVERSATION BUT I'M TOO BUSY SWATTING AT ALL OF CREATION! [Outro – Therapist] So, what did we learn today? [Patient] That I need a place without bugs. [Therapist] And dust. [Patient] And sun. [Therapist] And things that fly. [Patient] Yes. [Therapist] So basically... [Patient] Don't say it. [Therapist] You want to live in a vacuum? [Patient] ...Do they have bugs in those? [Therapist] I'm going to need another session.
