My linen shirt, a complete English mess My noble skin, now a scarlet red After a bullfight yesterday in Madrid In the sun-drenched seats, it nearly did me in Now I sit on a terrace in the city square Where the overheated locals pass without a care The waiter gives me a cheeky little look “Que vas a tomar, mister?” he seems to ask me I point to the menu with a polite English sigh And he brings me a beer and a plate of chorizo Oh, what a surprise My goodness, I feel an immense Hour, a hungry tourist blessed under the sun I try my best to look serious and calm But in truth, I am having a tremendous amount of fun I laugh to myself with my pint in my hand As the Spanish chatter with impassioned zest I simply sit and smile watching all the commotion Waiting for the waiter to present his list, a test “Mister, you can choose from tortilla de patatas con pimiento rojo Chopitos, patatas bravas, chorizo, gambas a la plancha Morcilla, and montaditos de jamón Just look at the menu and make your choice” After some porras and churros con chocolate this morning I was so full I nearly went back to my hotel But then I saw a man with an appetizing sandwich A formidable bocadillo de calamares And suddenly, a desire to eat it swelled Oh, what a spectacle, the locals love it so A calamari sandwich, I shall have one, dash it all The waiter sees my stunned face and pulls a face of his own Placing a plate in front of me and says with a challenging call “I want to see if you can eat all of this, mister” By Jove, you become invincible, a superman What a truly great meal I may be full but I am very susceptible to it all And as they say here, enjoying this adventure is quite a thrill And I’m not fed up Oh no sir, I am the king of this terrace The master and the lord With the sun, my beer and my silly English smile I am king in Madrid Olé, Olé, Olé, Olé, Olé
