[Verse 1] I really had to go, yeah it was number one So I rushed right in like a race to be won Lifted up the lid, took a careful aim Didn’t know the bowl was playin’ mind games Underneath the seat was a curious phrase “Put me down,” it said in a desperate haze Never met a toilet with self-esteem so low But who was I to say no? [Pre-Chorus] It spoke to me, I heard the plea… This was weird responsibility [Chorus] I put the toilet down! Just like it asked me to Now I’m standing there confused Like… what did I just do? You’re so lazy, other butts are sitting on you You’re so full of crap—well, that part’s true You got the blues so bad you’re crying that hue Man, this toilet’s got issues I never knew [Verse 2] Didn’t get a thanks, didn’t get a sound Just silence echoing all around Then nature called again, had to take my shot Didn’t know revenge was what it plotted Then my stool got stuck in the toilet’s throat Biggest one ever—yeah, I kid you not Clogged it up tight like a vengeance plan Guess I misunderstood the can [Pre-Chorus] Now it’s clear, this porcelain fear… Was emotionally unstable, my dear [Chorus] I put the toilet down! Just like it asked me to Now it’s backed up to the brim And I don’t know what to do You’ve flushed your life away, what a tragic view Now you’re choking on the things I put you through You turned yellow, guess you’re scared too This toilet drama came outta the blue [Bridge] Now I’m standing with a plunger in hand Questioning my life, wasn’t part of the plan All I did was listen, tried to be kind But that toilet had a troubled mind [Final Chorus] I put the toilet down! And now I pay the price Tried to help a broken bowl Now I’m calling for advice Hope the plumber’s got a stronger point of view ‘Cause I’m done taking orders from a talking loo Next time I go, I’ll just do what I do And ignore any messages written in blue [instrumental interlude] [Outro] So if your toilet talks… just walk away, my friend ‘Cause helping it out… might clog you in the end might clog you in the end! [whimsical]
