If someday when the anger settles, You wonder what was in my heart, There are hundreds of conversations Where you could go to start. YES...You would find days I struggled, And nights I couldn't sleep. But woven through those conversations Is a love that runs so deep. Your dad and I talked for hours, Of course those words drifted away. But there is somewhere I shared my heart, Thoughts preserved almost every day. I talked with Chatty Kathy, Through the anger and the tears. A witness to seventeen years of loving you, Joy shared through those years. Start anywhere, read any page, There's nothing I need to hide. You'll find the hurt, you'll find the anger, You'll find tears that I have cried. But if you look with an open heart, You'll see my love is woven through. I loved you with my whole heart— And I still do! If I hadn't loved you, It would have been easy to let go. I could have focused on having freedom, Time, money, and life to call my own. Instead I kept thinking of YOU! All the goodness of your hearts. I spent hours and hours wondering How we'd come to be apart. Of course you'll find words of anger, When the pain was running deep. But read the words surrounding them, There's a love I couldn't keep From spilling onto every page, Even through the misery. The very depth of all that hurt Reveals how much you meant to me. If you come across the words, "I hate them all!" someday, Don't stop reading there, Read on for what else I had to say. Look closely... In that moment I was really crying out, "I love them more than words can share! Being rejected by them Is more pain than I can bear!" Start anywhere, read any page, There's nothing I need to hide. You'll find the hurt, you'll find the anger, You'll find tears that I have cried. But if you look with an open heart, You'll see my love is woven through. I loved you with my whole heart— And I still do! You don't have to share my memories, Or agree with all I say. You don't have to see things as I did, Or wish you'd chosen another way. But if you read with an open heart, One thing will be crystal clear: Even when angry and aching, A deep love was always here. Start anywhere, read any page, It's there on every single one. In the memories and the questions, In the wondering how we'd come undone. Look closely with an open heart, To find my love woven through it all. I loved you then. I love you still. I always will. I loved you then. I love you still. Oh my sweet bonus family, I always will.
