Dead in bed/my infection grows/feelin punched in'a head/an'uh fire set 2 my throat/its hard 2 breathe, hard 2 see.../one-hundred'n three/point three-degree/body-heat's the fever-fire flames incineratin' me It's not fair! It's not fun!/When I feel this shitty I'm usually covered in blood! These next 4 days R gonna suck/An' my only solution is.../ Pharmaceutical drugs... I'm sick. I'm a jerk. My heart,soul,an' body all hurt. I'ma dick. An' I'm dyin'. I hate to suffer, so I'm whinin' an' cryin'. I need help. But I'm in Hell. An there's no escaping this evil. Lemme shut my eyes. I'll let go an die. It's the common cold,yea...the fuckin worst! Why can't this be cancer, polio or H.I.V.?/I'd rather have zeek-uh virus or hoof n' mouth disease./I'd choose paralysis/foreign things in my anal cavity/an' pregnancy... That's right!—All three... —Simultaneously! ...Instead,I got this viral nuisance/murderin my week immune system./ Doctors won't listen/ so here I am bitchin'... —O!NO!! Yep. ...It's a shitty little cold. I'm sick. I'm a jerk. My heart,soul,an' body all hurt. I'ma dick. An' I'm dyin'. I hate to suffer, so I'm whinin' an' cryin'. I need help. But I'm in Hell. An there's no escaping this evil. Lemme shut my eyes. I'll let go an die. It's the common cold,yea...the fuckin worst Roll outta bed to the pharmacy/an' it's quite a scene./Jus need 2 get twelve bottles of NyQuil/ an' thirty gallons'a whiskey... This shit should do the trick! Hope I sleep through this illness An' if ya can't wake me Cuz I die from self-medicating Please don't let my obituary mention —Accidentally/over-dosin'... I'm sick. I'm a jerk. My heart,soul,an' body all hurt. I'ma dick. An' I'm dyin'. I hate to suffer, so I'm whinin' an' cryin'. I need help. But I'm in Hell. An there's no escaping this evil. Lemme shut my eyes. I'll let go an die... "....WILL SOMEONE PLEASE JUST CALL UP A HEARSE?!" ...It's the common cold,yea: —O!/the fuckin worst!
