Professional Napper

[Verse 1] I said “I’m just gonna close my eyes” Around about 2:03 But the fan was hummin’ harmony Like a lullaby singin’ to me Blanket fresh out the dryer Pillow cool on both sides Next thing I know I’m wakin’ up Not sure what month or time [Pre-Chorus] Got pillow marks across my face Hair doin’ somethin’ strange Took me forty-five whole seconds Just to remember my name [Chorus] I’m a professional napper Bed-divin’ hall of fame Blackout curtains closed so tight Like the FBI knows my name Don’t text me “you awake?” You already know the deal I’m not ignoring people I’m just nappin’ still [Verse 2] My dog came checkin’ on me twice Like “you good or are you dead?” Cat saw me missin’ signs of life And asked to be fed Alarm clock tried to warn me I smacked it clean off the stand If sleepin’ was an occupation I’d have a pension plan [Pre-Chorus] Some folks grind through every minute Chasin’ money, stress, and thrills Meanwhile I’m over here unconscious Like it’s a learned skill [Chorus] I’m a professional napper Bed-divin’ hall of fame Blackout curtains closed so tight Like the FBI knows my name Don’t text me “you awake?” You already know the deal I’m not ignoring people I’m just nappin’ still [Bridge] I don’t need no meditation Don’t need yoga, don’t need spa Just gimme twenty minutes horizontal And buddy, I reset my heart Memory foam salvation Cool side of the pillow bliss Some folks chase enlightenment Me? I nap like this [Final Chorus] I’m a professional napper CEO of stayin’ in bed I took a “quick little power nap” Woke up with bedhead instead The world can keep on spinnin’ I’ll catch up when I feel Till then leave a message at the beep I’m just nappin’ still