Ah, you're no fun, Kicking me out again. You say I drank too much ale, You weren't saying that An hour ago, When I was handing you my coin. Out the door I went, Down the road, Trying to find my way home. A rustle in the hedge, Enough to let a drunk man know, Movement in my step, I swear there's something... Sitting in the bushes, Looking back at me. Maybe it's a rabbit, Maybe it's a cat, Maybe it's the ale, Making me see that. I took another step, And something moved again, Two little eyes were watching, From somewhere in the den. Who's there? Come out and show yourself. Who's there? I ain't afraid of you. Well, maybe just a little, But that's between me and you. Who's there? Stop hiding in the dark. I heard a little scratching, Then I heard a little laugh, Something pulled the branches, Then it ducked right back. I leaned a little closer, Trying hard to see, Then I saw a little finger, Curling back at me. One crooked little finger... Well, that ain't no rabbit. Who's there? Come out and show yourself. Who's there? I ain't afraid of you. Well, maybe just a little, But that's between me and you. Who's there? Stop hiding in the dark. I backed away slowly, Then I heard the footsteps, Little taps behind me, Following where I went. I turned around, Nothing there, Turned back toward the road, Something tugged my coat behind me, And I nearly lost my soul. HEY! Don't do that. I know you're there. Keep walking... Now I'm walking faster, Ain't nobody drunk tonight, Every bush beside me Seems to have a pair of eyes. I hear those little footsteps, Keeping right behind, And every time I turn around, That little bastard hides. I don't know what you are, And frankly I don't care, I've had enough adventure For one evening in this chair... Road. I meant road. Who's there? Come out and show yourself. Who's there? I ain't afraid of you. Well, maybe just a little, But that's between me and you. Who's there? Stop hiding in the dark. I finally saw him clearly, Just standing by a tree, Small enough to miss him, But he was watching me. Crooked little finger, Crooked little grin, Eyes that seemed to tell me, You've been drinking again. You... You little bastard. Don't laugh at me. I said don't laugh at me! Who's there? I know you're there. Who's there? Quit following me home. I've had enough of drinking, I've had enough tonight, But that little crooked fellow Won't get out of sight. I looked down the road, The moon was shining bright, I looked back toward the bushes... Nothing. No eyes, No footsteps, No little hand. Then something tapped me On the back of my leg. Don't. I said don't. Oh, hell... Who's there? I know you're there. Who's there? You little crooked fool. You followed me home, You followed me all night, And somehow I'm beginning To think you think it's funny. Yeah, buddy... I suppose we're friends now. But you're buying the ale. I swear I heard him laughing...
