All My Exes Are Sussexes (parody)

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[Verse 1]
I thought I’d seen the last of 'em when they flew across the pond
But every week there’s headlines, same old sob story song
Netflix specials, podcasts, tellin’ tales of how they’re wronged
While the rest of us are workin’, tryna keep our paychecks strong  They got the palace, got the titles, got the worldwide fame
But still complainin’ daily, playin’ victim in the game
I mute 'em on my timeline, block 'em every single day
But somehow they keep showin’ up, won’t go the hell away

[Chorus]
All my exes are Sussexes
Livin’ large on the public dime
All my exes are Sussexes
And they won’t stay off my mind
One’s a prince, one’s a duchess
Both got canceled, what a mess
All my exes are Sussexes
Time to say goodbye, I guess!

[Verse 2]
They said they wanted privacy, then posed for every shoot
Spilled the tea on Oprah, now they’re sellin’ tell-all fruit
Podcast deals and merch lines, griftin’ like it’s fine
While the family’s dodgin’ questions, tryin’ to keep the peace in line  I don’t care about their titles, don’t care about their crown
Just wish they’d take the hint and quietly leave town
But every time I think they’re gone, another headline drops
Another interview cryin’, another drama prop

[Bridge]
Just go away already, take your cameras and your tears
We’ve heard the sob story now for way too many years
You got your freedom, got your deals, got your Montecito view
Now do us all a favor — and just disappear from view

[Final Chorus – bigger, with harmony/backing vocals]
All my exes are Sussexes
Livin’ large on the public dime
All my exes are Sussexes
And they’re runnin’ out of time
One’s a prince, one’s a duchess
Both got canceled, what a mess
All my exes are Sussexes
Now go away, I’m done, I guess!

[Outro – spoken/fade with steel guitar twang]
Yeah… all my exes are Sussexes…
And they still won’t go away…
Mute. Block. Move on.
Peace out.

[Markle Lost Her Sparkle v 3,
Concept/Title: Joseph M Lenard, author, podcaster
Lyrics: xAI/Grok
Music: @suno system]

2708/7500

[ (C) 2026 Joseph M Lenard media SEND US FEEDBACK (via CTP Show): https://www.buzzsprout.com/2210487/fan_mail/new - https://tinyurl.com/SubscribeToCTP - CTP Audios: https://tinyurl.com/CTPonBuzzsprout - CTP Videos: https://tinyurl.com/CTPonBITCHUTE - https://tinyurl.com/CTPgear - https://tinyurl.com/JLenardDetroitGear - AI images/videos/audio CTP uses: https://tinyurl.com/GalaxyMagicaAI - https://tinyurl.com/BookPromotionViaFiverr ] [Verse 1] I thought I’d seen the last of 'em when they flew across the pond But every week there’s headlines, same old sob story song Netflix specials, podcasts, tellin’ tales of how they’re wronged While the rest of us are workin’, tryna keep our paychecks strong They got the palace, got the titles, got the worldwide fame But still complainin’ daily, playin’ victim in the game I mute 'em on my timeline, block 'em every single day But somehow they keep showin’ up, won’t go the hell away [Chorus] All my exes are Sussexes Livin’ large on the public dime All my exes are Sussexes And they won’t stay off my mind One’s a prince, one’s a duchess Both got canceled, what a mess All my exes are Sussexes Time to say goodbye, I guess! [Verse 2] They said they wanted privacy, then posed for every shoot Spilled the tea on Oprah, now they’re sellin’ tell-all fruit Podcast deals and merch lines, griftin’ like it’s fine While the family’s dodgin’ questions, tryin’ to keep the peace in line I don’t care about their titles, don’t care about their crown Just wish they’d take the hint and quietly leave town But every time I think they’re gone, another headline drops Another interview cryin’, another drama prop [Chorus] All my exes are Sussexes Livin’ large on the public dime All my exes are Sussexes And they won’t stay off my mind One’s a prince, one’s a duchess Both got canceled, what a mess All my exes are Sussexes Time to say goodbye, I guess! [Bridge] Just go away already, take your cameras and your tears We’ve heard the sob story now for way too many years You got your freedom, got your deals, got your Montecito view Now do us all a favor — and just disappear from view [Final Chorus – bigger, with harmony/backing vocals] All my exes are Sussexes Livin’ large on the public dime All my exes are Sussexes And they’re runnin’ out of time One’s a prince, one’s a duchess Both got canceled, what a mess All my exes are Sussexes Now go away, I’m done, I guess! [Outro – spoken/fade with steel guitar twang] Yeah… all my exes are Sussexes… And they still won’t go away… Mute. Block. Move on. Peace out. [Markle Lost Her Sparkle v 3, Concept/Title: Joseph M Lenard, author, podcaster Lyrics: xAI/Grok Music: @suno system]

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