[Intro | G Major | 88 BPM | acoustic guitar, faint room tone from the instrument only] I saw somebody I went to school with bought a house today. I don't know why that bothered me. I'm happy for him. I think. [Verse 1 | driving acoustic guitar, upright bass] Everybody I grew up with seems to know where they're going There's wedding pictures and newborn babies and keys to houses hanging from smiling hands There's somebody posting about their ten year career Somebody taking a vacation Somebody finally getting clean And I'm sitting here trying to remember what I thought I'd be by now. [Pre-Chorus | drums enter lightly] I keep telling myself there's no such thing as behind But it's hard to believe that when everybody else looks like their ride showed up on time. [Chorus | fuller folk-punk arrangement] Everybody's moving forward I can see it from here Building lives I thought I'd have by the time I reached this year I'm happy for them I really am That's the part that I can't choke down I don't want what they have I just want to stop feeling like I came in last. [Verse 2 | acoustic guitar, bass, brushed drums] I still have conversations with the person I was at eighteen He thought he'd have it figured out before he turned twenty-three He thought he'd have a family He thought he'd have a career He thought his parents would be around to see him get there He never considered that growing up might mean losing things he wasn't ready to lose Or that some years would disappear without anything to show for them. [Pre-Chorus | building] So I stopped making promises about where I'd be next year It hurts less to say "I don't know" than to disappoint myself again. [Chorus | stronger] Everybody's moving forward I can see it from here Building lives I thought I'd have by the time I reached this year I'm happy for them I really am That's the part I can't choke down I don't want what they have I just want to stop feeling like I came in last. [Verse 3 | pull back, intimate vocal] Sometimes I don't leave the house for weeks at a time And from the outside I suppose that looks like nothing But nobody sees the argument I had with myself just to take a shower Nobody sees the things I didn't do because I was trying not to fall apart Nobody sees how exhausting it is to spend all day trying to look like you're okay. [Bridge | instruments drop to acoustic guitar and exhausted vocal] I wish I could explain how much it takes to look this still How getting out of bed can feel like a job I didn't apply for How some days making it to tomorrow is the only thing I accomplish And I know that doesn't look like much But I was there. I know how hard I fought to be there. [Final Chorus | full band, passionate vocal, rough harmony vocals] Everybody's moving forward I can see it from here But I don't know what they're carrying when nobody else is near I'm happy for them I really am I don't want their lives I just want mine to feel like mine I spent so long counting all the things I hadn't done I forgot to count the things I survived. [Outro | acoustic guitar, vocal nearly breaking] So if you see me standing still Don't assume I never moved. I'm still trying to stand.
