Yipee Hooray Woohoo!

[intro] Yipee! Hooray! Woohoo! (They said I’m rich and I believe it’s true!) [verse 1] Got a message on WhatsApp late last night, A man with medals said I’m his guiding light. He’s a general stuck in Burkina Faso, But he swears I’m the one, and we’re good to go! Some folks mutter, “That’s clearly fake,” But they’re just jealous and half awake. He sent a selfie — in uniform! Said I’ll get ten million rand once I fill out the form. [pre-chorus] I gave my I.D., gave my pin, They said, “Just one more fee and then you win!” [chorus] Yipee! Hooray! Woohoo! I’m finally gettin’ what I’m due! I sold my fridge and my tumble dryer, To pay a man who “knows someone higher!” Yipee! Hooray! Woohoo! My dreams are bigger than the S.A.B.C. news! My bank account’s frozen like Magalies ice, But fortune’s comin’ — twice, maybe thrice! [verse 2] They asked for proof that I’m alive, So I sent a photo with my boerie and knives. He said, “My darling, send it all in cash,” So I packed up my pension in a Pick n Pay bag. The neighbour hissed, “That smells like a scam,” But what does she know? She still drives a van. I clicked a link in a lucky chain— Now my laptop sings and speaks in Spain! [pre-chorus] I paid in vouchers, airtime too, They said the parcel’s stuck in Timbuktu! [chorus] Yipee! Hooray! Woohoo! I’m almost part of the wealthy few! Gave them passwords, gave them trust, Even sent ‘em pics of my license disc dust. Yipee! Hooray! Woohoo! Soon I’ll be drinkin’ French Rooibos brew! I might be broke, but I’m spiritually stacked— They said the treasure's almost packed! [bridge] Now Capitec says I’m locked out, But maybe it’s a test of faith and clout. The geyser’s gone, the D.S.T.V.'s off, But I know the millions are on their [interlude – phone call voiceover] 🎶 “Hallo. Congratulations! You have won a share in a Zimbabwean diamond export deal. Please send seventeen thousand rand to process your claim…” 🎶 (Ah, no man, how lucky can I be!) [chorus] Yipee! Hooray! Woohoo! I’m one step closer to Breakwater View! Sold my car for a data plan, Now I’m video-calling some Ugandan man. Yipee! Hooray! Woohoo! Who needs sanity when dreams come true? I might be scammed, but my heart is light— They said the payout’s comin’ Friday night! [outro] Yipee! Hooray! Woohoo! (They said I’m royalty — and I know it’s true.) Just gotta send one last payment through...