[VERSE 1] On Halloween, The Robotic Raccoon led us Past the lighthouse burning bright. Dressed as a Nun, with a purple face, Then marched us through the night. I wore a cheerleader costume with heels so very high And packed a beer cooler for the sweets. We rode to the woods on burning bike To haunt the moonlit streets. A warewolf waved us over, With a wicked, toothy grin. We tried to resist beside the gate, Then someone called us in! [CHORUS] Trick or treat in those high heels Come knocking at the door! Something rotten something new We’re coming back for more! We can handle warewolves and vampires We’ll laugh at any fright. But one of them there rainbow people!! We draw the line! Trick or treat tonight! [VERSE 2] First, Donald Trump answered, Dressed as John Wayne in red. We picked candy coloured cough sweets, got robbed by a man in drag “FUCK” we said. Next, Bob Ross wore a Star Trek uniform With a phazer beneath one arm. We chose chocolate shaped coffins got robbed again! That set off every car alarm! [CHORUS] Trick or treat in those high heels Come knocking at the door! Something rotten something new We’re coming back for more! We can handle warewolves and vampires We’ll laugh at any fright. But an angry Mum? We draw the line! Trick or treat tonight! [BRIDGE] Then Alice Cooper dressed as, a ballet dancing clown Stepped out into the light. “Choose bubble gum or a sword up the bum! Which will it be tonight?” We picked Hubba bubba they passed us the box Then pointed at the moon. “Now FLY YOU FOOLS They chanted, “ABRA-CADABRA-LASSOOO! And the fiddler struck a tune. [FINAL CHORUS] Trick or treat in heels like that, Come knocking at the door! Something rotten, something new We’re coming back for more! We can handle vampires and warewolves, We’ll laugh at any fright. But that old woman who stole all those apples in that episode of Little House On The Prairie..... We draw the line! Trick or treat tonight! [OUTRO — THE TWIST] Then Peppa Pig dropped her Welly Boots And we all began to shake. Beneath it lurked a real evil clown That costume wasn’t fake! My bum hole turned into a drain pipe shit spread across my skin. That cursed Hubba bubba had changed us all— The monsters were within! Now we haunt Waitrose each Halloween, Come knocking at your door. Give us cheesy snacks and we won’t kick your ass Unless you ask for more!
