[Verse 1] You heard the slamming doors You felt the air go tight You learned to read a hallway Before you learned what’s right His rage would fill the house And I’d start moving fast Trying to keep the peace Like I could make it last [Verse 2] I smiled too hard, I smoothed too much I called the chaos fine I thought if I stayed busy I could hold the fault line I didn’t know the language For the war inside my chest So I kept everybody breathing And I gave you what was left [Chorus] I tried to keep you happy I tried to keep you safe I tried to make it better And I lost myself that way I didn’t know how to hold it I didn’t know what to do I got lost, I got lost But I still loved you [Verse 3] I know I hurt you anyway In ways I didn’t mean I know I pushed you further When I was coming unstitched at the seams Especially you, my youngest I feel that distance most I’d take it back in a heartbeat If time would give me close [Bridge] I hope you never live What I had to survive I hope your homes are quieter I hope your love stays kind Please keep the good we made here The laughter, the small light And if you can, let go the rest You don’t have to hold that night [Final Chorus] I tried to be a good mom I was so lost and small I wanted peace for all of you And I didn’t know it all I can’t rewrite the hard years I can’t undo what’s true I got lost, I got lost But I still love you [Outro] Remember the good if you can Release what cut too deep I was lost, and I am sorry And my love is still yours to keep.
