What the Gods Gave Me

[Intro - deep male baritone, purely spoken, close-mic’d] How do you go defining good… versus evil? [Silence] [Single synthetic pulse] [Glitch] [Low sub-bass slowly rising] [Deep male baritone - purely spoken] I’m only using what the gods gave me. [Distorted bass impact] [Beat begins] [Verse 1 - Vex, restrained] Got an angel and a devil on my shoulder, Both arguing what I need and what I want. One says, “Think.” One says, “Act.” One says, “Wait.” One says, “Don’t.” So I analyze the reasons, Then analyze the doubt, Then analyze the reasons That I started figuring it out. Maybe that’s the problem. Maybe that’s the cure. Maybe if I understand enough, I’ll finally feel secure. But every answer makes another question, Every question opens one more door. Every door I walk through Makes me wonder what I opened it for. Ain’t got much sitting in the bank, No safety net below. Family fractured long ago, So I learned to walk alone. I chose my own direction. At least… I think I did. [Beat skips] I think. [Pre-Chorus - Vex] What if every thought I have Was already waiting there? What if every choice I make Was never really mine to share? [Deep male voice - spoken] You’re thinking too much. [Vex] That’s what people say when they don’t think enough. [Beat begins accumulating layers] [Chorus - Vex] Good or evil, Who’s deciding that? I keep pulling every thread Till the whole thing comes apart. If the gods gave me the fire, Why does everything feel wrong? If these hands were made to save me, Why have they been shaking all along? Good or evil, Tell me where the line begins. I can justify the choices, I can explain every sin. I was given these hands. I was given these teeth. I’m only using What the gods gave me. [Post-Chorus - distorted fragments] What did they give me? What did they give me? [Verse 2 - Vex, faster and increasingly obsessive] Okay. Slow it down. Fact one: I’m awake. Fact two: I’m alone. Fact three: That sound wasn’t there three minutes ago. Fact four: I checked the door. Fact five: I checked it twice. Fact six: Why do I remember checking it three times? [Percussion begins misaligning] No. That’s not right. Start again. Door locked. Lights off. Phone charged. Clock says three-oh-seven. I heard breathing. Not mine. Probably mine. Probably. Probably isn’t proof. Proof requires memory. Memory isn’t reliable. [Glitch] Neither am I. [Deep male voice - distant, spoken] Now you’re getting it. [Vex] Getting what? [Deep male voice] The pattern. [Vex] There isn’t a pattern. [Deep male voice] Then why are you counting? [Beat becomes increasingly complex] [Vex] One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four… [Beat skips] …five? [Silence] No. [Whisper layers] Think. Check. Question. Repeat. [Vex] I can’t turn it off. [Deep male voice] You always notice everything. [Vex] Stop. [Deep male voice] Every sound. Every pause. Every word. [Vex] Stop. [Deep male voice] Every thought. [Beat abruptly cuts] [Bridge - Vex, quiet] I keep thinking if I understand enough, I’ll finally feel safe. [Deep male voice - spoken] And? [Vex] It doesn’t work. [Deep male voice] No. [Vex] It makes it worse. [Low frequency begins] [Vex] Because now I can see every possibility. [Deep male voice] And how many are there? [Silence] [Vex] Too many. [Deep male voice] Exactly. [Massive distorted bass hit] [Final Chorus - Vex, fractured] Good or evil, Who’s deciding that? I keep pulling every thread Till there’s nothing holding back. If the gods gave me the fire, Then I finally understand— [Glitch] No. I don’t. I don’t. I don’t. [Layered Vex whispers] I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know. [Deep male voice] But you know enough. [Vex] Enough for what? [Deep male voice] To choose. [Instrumental overload] [Conflicting rhythms] [Glitches] [Whispers] [Distorted bass] [Rapid fragmented vocal echoes] [Vex - rapid fragmented delivery] Think. Check. Question. Analyze. Repeat. Verify. Recheck. Find the flaw. Find the reason. Find the cause. Find the answer— [Everything stops] [Whisper] There isn’t one. [Deep male voice - spoken] There never was. [Silence] [Vex - barely audible] Then what have I been doing? [Deep male voice] Listening. [Vex] To who? [Long silence] [Deep male voice - whispered] You. [Single distorted pulse] [Static] [End]