Choking on No's

acoustic-country, ballad, praise and worship

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[Intro – Soft fingerpicked acoustic, lonely piano, subtle cello. Weary male baritone, intimate and exhausted.]

[Verse 1 – Restrained, bitter exhaustion]
Four-fifteen, coffee's black,
Same old boots, same busted back.
Friday's check ain't even cleared,
Three more problems just appeared.

"Hey, I hate to ask..." Lord, here it comes,
Another fire I didn't start.
"Don't you worry, I'll figure it out,"
With a cinder burning in my heart.

[Pre-Chorus – Cello rises, voice begins to strain]
I swear this time I'll draw that line,
Then hear myself say, "Yeah, that's fine."
Lord, is it them who won't let go,
Or me who's scared to tell 'em no?

[Chorus – Full band, desperate and anguished]
I'm choking on no's,
Still spitting out yes.
Everybody gets a rescue,
I get the worry and the debt.

I'm at the end of me,
Jesus, take this from my hands.
I've done everything I know to do,
Lord, help me understand.

I still love the ones who need me,
But I need Your mercy too.
I'm broken and tired, Lord,
And I'm crying out to You.

[Verse 2 – Intimate, resentment giving way to guilt]
Another open hand, another unpaid bill,
I keep the lights on, swallow what I feel.
I keep holding up the ones I love,
Till they've forgotten how to stand.

I get mad that they keep leaning,
Then hate myself for feeling that way.
I give away another tomorrow,
Just to buy some peace today.

[Pre-Chorus – Rising anguish, voice nearly breaking]
Sweet Jesus, I'm walking on a wire,
My love's been turning into fire.
I don't wanna resent the ones I love,
Lord, why is my giving never enough?

[Chorus – Bigger, raw emotional delivery]
I'm choking on no's,
Still spitting out yes.
Everybody gets a rescue,
I get the worry and the debt.

I'm at the end of me,
Jesus, take this from my hands.
I've done everything I know to do,
Lord, help me understand.

I still love the ones who need me,
But I need Your mercy too.
I'm broken and tired, Lord,
And I'm crying out to You.

[Bridge – Instruments drop to bare piano and cello. Whispered, trembling confession.]
I called it compassion,
But maybe some was fear.
Afraid they'd fall without me,
Afraid to leave their burdens here.

I've tried to fix their problems,
Tried to make their troubles cease.
But never laid mine at Your feet,
Never asked You for Your peace.

[Voice cracks, then grows stronger]
I'm not asking You to fix them,
I'm begging You to change me.
Teach me how to love them
And still let them find their feet.

[Final Chorus – Starts quietly, then builds into powerful, soulful surrender]
I was choking on no's,
Still spitting out yes.
Now I'm learning I can say no
Without loving them any less.

I'm at the end of me,
Jesus, take this from my hands.
I don't have to fix their lives,
Just love them the best I can.

Give me courage for the hard no,
Give me grace to love them still.
Give them strength to stand without me,
And the heart to seek Your will.

[Final lines – Drums fall away, voice tender and resolute]
I was broken and tired, Lord,
Trying to carry it all.
But You never grow weary,
And You'll catch me when I fall.

[Outro – Almost whispered, bare piano and cello]
Teach me what is mine to carry,
And what I need to leave.
I can't be their savior Lord,
That's why I need You saving me.

[Soft piano resolves. Silence.]

3264/7500

[Intro – Soft fingerpicked acoustic, lonely piano, subtle cello. Weary male baritone, intimate and exhausted.] [Verse 1 – Restrained, bitter exhaustion] Four-fifteen, coffee's black, Same old boots, same busted back. Friday's check ain't even cleared, Three more problems just appeared. "Hey, I hate to ask..." Lord, here it comes, Another fire I didn't start. "Don't you worry, I'll figure it out," With a cinder burning in my heart. [Pre-Chorus – Cello rises, voice begins to strain] I swear this time I'll draw that line, Then hear myself say, "Yeah, that's fine." Lord, is it them who won't let go, Or me who's scared to tell 'em no? [Chorus – Full band, desperate and anguished] I'm choking on no's, Still spitting out yes. Everybody gets a rescue, I get the worry and the debt. I'm at the end of me, Jesus, take this from my hands. I've done everything I know to do, Lord, help me understand. I still love the ones who need me, But I need Your mercy too. I'm broken and tired, Lord, And I'm crying out to You. [Verse 2 – Intimate, resentment giving way to guilt] Another open hand, another unpaid bill, I keep the lights on, swallow what I feel. I keep holding up the ones I love, Till they've forgotten how to stand. I get mad that they keep leaning, Then hate myself for feeling that way. I give away another tomorrow, Just to buy some peace today. [Pre-Chorus – Rising anguish, voice nearly breaking] Sweet Jesus, I'm walking on a wire, My love's been turning into fire. I don't wanna resent the ones I love, Lord, why is my giving never enough? [Chorus – Bigger, raw emotional delivery] I'm choking on no's, Still spitting out yes. Everybody gets a rescue, I get the worry and the debt. I'm at the end of me, Jesus, take this from my hands. I've done everything I know to do, Lord, help me understand. I still love the ones who need me, But I need Your mercy too. I'm broken and tired, Lord, And I'm crying out to You. [Bridge – Instruments drop to bare piano and cello. Whispered, trembling confession.] I called it compassion, But maybe some was fear. Afraid they'd fall without me, Afraid to leave their burdens here. I've tried to fix their problems, Tried to make their troubles cease. But never laid mine at Your feet, Never asked You for Your peace. [Voice cracks, then grows stronger] I'm not asking You to fix them, I'm begging You to change me. Teach me how to love them And still let them find their feet. [Final Chorus – Starts quietly, then builds into powerful, soulful surrender] I was choking on no's, Still spitting out yes. Now I'm learning I can say no Without loving them any less. I'm at the end of me, Jesus, take this from my hands. I don't have to fix their lives, Just love them the best I can. Give me courage for the hard no, Give me grace to love them still. Give them strength to stand without me, And the heart to seek Your will. [Final lines – Drums fall away, voice tender and resolute] I was broken and tired, Lord, Trying to carry it all. But You never grow weary, And You'll catch me when I fall. [Outro – Almost whispered, bare piano and cello] Teach me what is mine to carry, And what I need to leave. I can't be their savior Lord, That's why I need You saving me. [Soft piano resolves. Silence.]

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