[Verse 1] The dog next door kept barking From half past ten till three I said "okely-dokely, neighbour" Though it bothered little old me My coffee missed the coffee cup And landed mostly on my shirt The Wi-Fi dropped mid-meeting Which frankly couldn't have worked worse One sock vanished in the laundry The printer made a dreadful sound Well toodley-doodley, wouldn't you know it It never again was found [Chorus] Well fiddlesticks and dang nabbit This simply will not do I'm doing my best to stay cheerful But it's getting harder to Good gracious, what a morning And heavens, what a week I'm not exactly furious Just a little bit peeved, I think [Verse 2] My goldfish chose this morning To depart quite suddenly The washing machine flooded the kitchen Before I'd finished tea My tyre flattened at a traffic light My phone gave up the ghost A pigeon christened my windshield As I headed down the coast My bank accounts were emptied The taxman wrote at noon Well jeepers creepers, doodley-do Things escalated rather soon [Chorus] Well fiddlesticks and dang nabbit This really isn't fair I'm trying to remain optimistic But we're getting somewhere Good heavens, what a spectacle The evidence is clear I'm not especially angry Just moderately annoyed this year [Verse 3] Before I'd finished breakfast The boss thanked me for my years Then handed me a cardboard box And nearly brought me tears The doctor phoned this afternoon Concerning what he'd found My wife left me for Susan Though we were getting on quite sound Well okely-dokely, sweet ravioli That certainly was new I wished them both the very best As polite folk tend to do [Bridge] The rivers all turned crimson The locusts filled the sky The Four Horsemen arrived promptly And mountains learned to fly The moon became as blood-red The stars fell from above Well jeepers creepers, fiddle-dee-dee That's more excitement than I love [Final Chorus] Well FIDDLESTICKS and DANG NABBIT This truly is unique The end of all creation has Been quite an awkward week Good gracious, what a spectacle The likes I've never seen I'm not especially panicked Just... moderately concerned, I mean The stars have all gone missing The universe came unglued Merciful heavens-a-rooni I'm in a somewhat disagreeable mood [Outro] Now I don't care for strong language Or making much ado But jeepers creepers... Golly gee... Merciful heavens-a-rooni... DARN IT ALL TO HECK-A-DOODLEY-DO... I really don't know what to do. [end]
