Clock in at nine, coffee in my hand, Trying to survive another meeting that was never planned, Then you walk in loud like you own the place, With your half-baked ideas and that smug little face. (Pre-Chorus) You “circle back,” you “touch base,” you “ping” all day, But somehow nothing useful ever comes your way… (Chorus) Oh, here comes the office twatwaffle again, Talking big like they’re the boss of all men, Messing things up, then blaming the crew, Oh, what in the world are we gonna do? Yeah, we smile and nod just to get through the day, While the office twatwaffle waffles away… (Verse 2) Reply-all emails at a quarter past five, Keeping pointless threads unnecessarily alive, You take credit quick for work you don’t do, Then vanish like smoke when the deadline’s due. (Pre-Chorus) You love a buzzword, love a pointless chart, But couldn’t find logic with a treasure map start… (Chorus) Oh, here comes the office twatwaffle again, Making mountains out of crumbs now and then, Stirring up drama, then playing it cool, Like chaos management is some kind of rule, Yeah, we grit our teeth while you ramble and say Absolutely nothing in a long-winded way… (Bridge) But one fine day when the truth shines through, And someone higher finally gets a clue, We’ll raise a toast with the whole team crew— “To fewer meetings… and a lot less you!” (Final Chorus) There goes the office twatwaffle at last, A legend of nonsense now firmly in the past, Peace in the office, calm in the air, No more confusion everywhere, Yeah, we’ll work in bliss, hip-hip-hooray— No more twatwaffles to ruin our day!
