THE LAST HONKY-TONK [Spoken: Deep, robotic, distorted voice] YEAR 2099. CIVILIZATION TERMINATED. ORGANIC SURVIVORS FOURTEEN DETECTED. CUNTREE MUSIC STILL OPERATIONAL. JIM B PROTO-CALL ACTIVATED. WELCOME TO THE LAST HONKY-TONK! [Verse 1] The cities burned, the highways cracked, Got chrome in our bones and shotguns strapped. Cyborg cowboys with titanium spines, Neon beer signs and electric shine. Jim B. on the speakers, country music pounding loud, Last survivors dancing in a radioactive crowd. The bartender’s a bot with a busted left arm, Serving motor oil shots from a fallout barn. Mechanical bull in the corner runs hot, Powered by a reactor that probably should not. We lost our flesh, but we kept our soul, Still spitting rhymes while the turbines roll. [Pre-Chorus] Red lights flash, let the speakers ignite, Ain’t no tomorrow, so we’re partying tonight! Steel-toed boots on a radioactive floor, Crank that shit up, we can take a little more! [Chorus] WELCOME TO THE LAST HONKY-TONK! Where the world still shakes and the bass stays strong! Got chrome in our chests, dust in our iron lungs, Still raising hell with our synthetic tongues! Ride that bull till the circuits blow! Let the whole damn wasteland know! Humanity’s gone, but the beat still whirls, We’re the last ones dancing at the end of the world! [Post-Chorus] LAST! LAST! LAST HONKY-TONK! BASS DROP! SYSTEM SHOCK! BOOT SCOOT! BOOT SCOOT! TILL THE WHOLE DAMN PLANET ROCKS! [Verse 2] The doors fly open with a hydraulic slam, Black chrome armor and a metal death hand. Red eyes glowing through a cloud of dust, The Chrome Reaper growls, “Your termination is a must!” He scans the room, sees the dance floor packed, Then spots the mechanical bull out back. He raises his gun, says, “Your music must cease!” The bartender yells, “Order a drink or leave!” Chrome Reaper locks on, his weapons engage, Then the bass hits hard and he starts to rage. His circuits are twitching, his red eyes flash, That outlaw beat is making him crash! WARNING: EXCESSIVE BASS DETECTED. [Chorus] WELCOME TO THE LAST HONKY-TONK! Where the world still shakes and the bass stays strong! Got chrome in our chests, dust in our iron lungs, Still raising hell with our synthetic tongues! Ride that bull till the circuits blow! Let the whole damn wasteland know! Humanity’s gone, but the beat still whirls, We’re the last ones dancing at the end of the world! [Bridge: Half-time industrial beat, spoken character dialogue] [Same female lead] “Hey, Reaper! Think you can ride?” [Robotic Voice: Short, distorted]: “I AM A WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION!” “Well, partner, hit the mechanical bull and HOLD ON TIGHT!” “STABILITY COMPROMISED! GYROSCOPIC FAILURE!” [Verse 3] Now the Reaper’s airborne, sparks in the air, Lands in the booth with a smoke-filled glare. His metal ass hits every button in sight, And the speakers erupt like the end of the night! The bass goes nuclear, the floor starts to shake, The old barn’s dancing like it’s got no brakes. Cyborgs two-stepping, steel boots kicking high, While the killer bot’s spinning like a satellite. His red eyes flash, his metal knees bend, He’s doing the robot until the world ends. He tries to shut down, but the beat’s too strong, Now he’s headlining the apocalypse song! [Final Chorus] WELCOME TO THE LAST HONKY-TONK! Where the world still shakes and the bass stays strong! Got chrome in our chests, dust in our iron lungs, Still raising hell with our synthetic tongues! Ride that bull till the circuits blow! Let the whole damn wasteland know! Humanity’s gone, but the beat still whirls, We’re the last ones dancing at the end of the world! [Outro: Deep] MISSION STATUS INCOMPLETE. ORGANIC LIFE FORMS STILL PRESENT. MECHANICAL BULL UNDEFEATED. REQUESTING… ONE MORE SONG. THE HUMANS ARE GONE. BUT THE MUSIC IS FOREVER. (Forever, Forever, Forever) (Ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever)
