(Verse 1 — Windows Has Opinions Today) Booted up my laptop, feeling ready for the day Windows greeted me politely… then rebooted anyway It said, “Installing updates!” though I didn’t ask it to And when it froze at 3%, it whispered, “This is normal too.” (Pre‑Chorus — The Gaslighting Begins) Every glitch and every crash Every spinning little wheel It says, “I’m not misbehaving I’m enhancing how you feel.” (Chorus — It’s Not a Bug, It’s a Feature) Oh, it’s not broken, it’s a special feature It’s not chaos, it’s a workflow teacher If Outlook eats your emails, that’s efficiency And Word deleting half your text is creativity Oh, it’s not broken, it’s a special feature Just smile and nod like a loyal creature (Verse 2 — Outlook’s Mood Swings) Opened up my Outlook, inbox shining bright Then it archived everything… completely out of spite It said, “I’m helping you declutter!” with a cheerful little ding I said, “Where’s my meeting invite?” It said, “I don’t recall that thing.” (Pre‑Chorus — The Excuses Continue) Every time it crashes twice It claims it’s feeling shy And when it sends drafts to my boss It says, “I really tried.” (Chorus — It’s Not a Bug, It’s a Feature) Oh, it’s not broken, it’s a special feature It’s not madness, it’s a workflow preacher If Teams won’t load your camera, that’s privacy And Excel refusing formulas is mystery Oh, it’s not broken, it’s a special feature Just smile and nod like a loyal creature (Bridge — Word Has Had Enough) Word froze up and sighed at me “Your document is gone.” I said, “But I just saved it!” It said, “No you didn’t, hon.” Then PowerPoint chimed in With transitions all askew “It’s not a glitch,” it said, “It’s avant‑garde for you.” (Final Chorus — Acceptance) Oh, it’s not broken, it’s a special feature It’s not trouble, it’s a software teacher If everything goes sideways, that’s synergy And if your files vanish, that’s destiny Oh, it’s not broken, it’s a special feature Just smile and nod like a loyal creature (Outro — The Shrug) And when the whole thing crashes Right before I hit “export” I just shrug my shoulders softly “Well… that’s just that.”
