This Gringo’s Garage

Diesel and Dandelions

Hillbilly Porch Stomp, Neo Soul, Southern Hillbilly

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[Intro – Spoken, Spanish Guitar, Heavy Bass Building]

"Welcome to This Gringo's Garage.

If you need it fixed, I got you.

If you need free advice...

Get in the fuckin line."

[HARD BEAT DROPS]

[Verse 1 – Gritty, Sarcastic Rap]

Not even six in the morning, ain't unlocked the gate,

Got three guys waiting like i'm running late.

One wants to borrow a ratchet, one needs a jack,

One borrowed a scanner, never brought it back.

"Hey Gringo, can I borrow your plus-sign stick?"

"My WHAT? You mean a Phillips-head bit?"

"Yeah, that thing! I'll bring it back right quick!"

That's what you said about my torque wrench, dick.

Half the fools pulling in ain't got a dime,

Just wanna pick my brain and waste my time.

"Hey Gringo, what would you do if it was yours?"

I'd pay me for advice, now shut my fucking door!

[Pre-Chorus – Funky Bass, Spoken Rhythm]

Everybody wants a favor,

Everybody wants it free.

Everybody's a professional ...

Till they fuck it up and bring it to me!

[Chorus – Gang Shouts, Massive Bass]

GRINGO'S GARAGE!

Fixin everybodys shit!

GRINGO'S GARAGE!

Everybody needs a tip!

Need a wrench? ask the Gringo!

Need advice? ask the Gringo!

Two weeks later, guess who they come see?

[group sing]"HEY GRINGO! CAN YOU UNFUCK THIS FOR ME?"

[Verse 2 – Playful Gangster Rap]

Guy rolls in saying, "It's a software glitch,

Spent two grand just tryna fix this bitch!"

Checked one ground, cleaned it up a bit,

Bumped the key and it hit right off, he said "now aint that some shit!"

Next guy swears he can fix his own ride,

Watched three youtube vids so he's more than qualified.

Two weeks later, comes rolling back,

With a coffee can of bolts in a Walmart sack.

"Gringo, man, it ran good before I tore it apart!"

"Congratulations, Einstein, you're a work of fuckin art!"

"Think you could fix it?" Yeah, I'm sure I can,

But now it's twice the price, you dumbass man!

[Chorus – Gang Shouts]

GRINGO'S GARAGE!

Yeah I can fix that shit!

GRINGO'S GARAGE!

Even after you fucked with it!

Need a wrench? ask the Gringo!

Need advice? ask the Gringo!

YouTube certified, but you still don't know!

Two weeks later, guess who they come see?

[group sing]"HEY GRINGO! CAN YOU UNFUCK THIS FOR ME?"

[Verse 3 – Spanglish, Heavy Funk Bass]

"¡Oye, Gringo! Tenemos un problema!"

No shit, cabrón, that's the daily tema!

"¿Cuánto cuesta?" Depends what you broke,

And whether you've been listening to some YouTube joke!

[Rapid-Fire Rap – Double-Time, Aggressive Multisyllabic Flow]

Pulled the dipstick, flicked it, caught a glimmer in the light,
Metal flakes in circulation, catastrophic ain't quite right!
Got a crankcase full of shrapnel, mechanical dynamite,
“Think an oil change oughta fix it?” Motherfucker, ARE YOU HIGH?!

Got a piston disintegratin', bearings ventilatin',
Oil contaminatin', whole damn block disintegratin'!
Your motor's full of STRIPPER GLITTER, ain't no fixin' that tonight!
“So, uh… Gringo… is that why I got a check-engine light?”

[Rapid-Fire Rap – Double-Time, Aggressive Multisyllabic Flow]

“Hey Gringo, can I borrow your programmer?”

“What happened to yours, you backyard scanner?”

“Said I had a misfire, so I flashed my PCM,

Now the damn thing won’t start, can you fix it again?”

"¡AY, DIOS MÍO!"

“You had a bad plug, now you bricked the whole ride,

Turned a ten-minute fix into automotive homicide!”

[Final Chorus – Full Beat, Gang Vocals, Spanish Horns]

GRINGO'S GARAGE!

We fix that shit!

GRINGO'S GARAGE!

Even when you fucked with it!

Borrow my tools, ignore my advice,

Come back crying, pay me twice!

When your backyard fix comes undone...

“¡Este pinche cabrón!”

GETS THE SHIT DONE!

[Outro – Spoken, Bass Fades]

"Hey Gringo, just one quick question..."

"Is it a paying question?"

"...Well, no."

"Then it's gonna be a quick answer."

[HARD STOP]

4234/7500

[STYLE: Outlaw cholo rap / hick-hop, Deep West Coast 808s, G-funk bass, sinister Spanish guitar, outlaw-country twang, slap bass, Latin brass. Gritty male Texas drawl, sarcastic storytelling. Rowdy gang-shout choruses. Rapid-fire technical verses in precise double-time multisyllabic flow. Dialogue spoken in character. Hard stops for punchlines. Minimal reverb. Brackets are instructions, not lyrics.] [Intro – Spoken, Spanish Guitar, Heavy Bass Building] "Welcome to This Gringo's Garage. If you need it fixed, I got you. If you need free advice... Get in the fuckin line." [HARD BEAT DROPS] [Verse 1 – Gritty, Sarcastic Rap] Not even six in the morning, ain't unlocked the gate, Got three guys waiting like i'm running late. One wants to borrow a ratchet, one needs a jack, One borrowed a scanner, never brought it back. "Hey Gringo, can I borrow your plus-sign stick?" "My WHAT? You mean a Phillips-head bit?" "Yeah, that thing! I'll bring it back right quick!" That's what you said about my torque wrench, dick. Half the fools pulling in ain't got a dime, Just wanna pick my brain and waste my time. "Hey Gringo, what would you do if it was yours?" I'd pay me for advice, now shut my fucking door! [Pre-Chorus – Funky Bass, Spoken Rhythm] Everybody wants a favor, Everybody wants it free. Everybody's a professional ... Till they fuck it up and bring it to me! [Chorus – Gang Shouts, Massive Bass] GRINGO'S GARAGE! Fixin everybodys shit! GRINGO'S GARAGE! Everybody needs a tip! Need a wrench? ask the Gringo! Need advice? ask the Gringo! Two weeks later, guess who they come see? [group sing]"HEY GRINGO! CAN YOU UNFUCK THIS FOR ME?" [Verse 2 – Playful Gangster Rap] Guy rolls in saying, "It's a software glitch, Spent two grand just tryna fix this bitch!" Checked one ground, cleaned it up a bit, Bumped the key and it hit right off, he said "now aint that some shit!" Next guy swears he can fix his own ride, Watched three youtube vids so he's more than qualified. Two weeks later, comes rolling back, With a coffee can of bolts in a Walmart sack. "Gringo, man, it ran good before I tore it apart!" "Congratulations, Einstein, you're a work of fuckin art!" "Think you could fix it?" Yeah, I'm sure I can, But now it's twice the price, you dumbass man! [Chorus – Gang Shouts] GRINGO'S GARAGE! Yeah I can fix that shit! GRINGO'S GARAGE! Even after you fucked with it! Need a wrench? ask the Gringo! Need advice? ask the Gringo! YouTube certified, but you still don't know! Two weeks later, guess who they come see? [group sing]"HEY GRINGO! CAN YOU UNFUCK THIS FOR ME?" [Verse 3 – Spanglish, Heavy Funk Bass] "¡Oye, Gringo! Tenemos un problema!" No shit, cabrón, that's the daily tema! "¿Cuánto cuesta?" Depends what you broke, And whether you've been listening to some YouTube joke! [Rapid-Fire Rap – Double-Time, Aggressive Multisyllabic Flow] Pulled the dipstick, flicked it, caught a glimmer in the light, Metal flakes in circulation, catastrophic ain't quite right! Got a crankcase full of shrapnel, mechanical dynamite, “Think an oil change oughta fix it?” Motherfucker, ARE YOU HIGH?! Got a piston disintegratin', bearings ventilatin', Oil contaminatin', whole damn block disintegratin'! Your motor's full of STRIPPER GLITTER, ain't no fixin' that tonight! “So, uh… Gringo… is that why I got a check-engine light?” [Rapid-Fire Rap – Double-Time, Aggressive Multisyllabic Flow] “Hey Gringo, can I borrow your programmer?” “What happened to yours, you backyard scanner?” “Said I had a misfire, so I flashed my PCM, Now the damn thing won’t start, can you fix it again?” "¡AY, DIOS MÍO!" “You had a bad plug, now you bricked the whole ride, Turned a ten-minute fix into automotive homicide!” [Final Chorus – Full Beat, Gang Vocals, Spanish Horns] GRINGO'S GARAGE! We fix that shit! GRINGO'S GARAGE! Even when you fucked with it! Borrow my tools, ignore my advice, Come back crying, pay me twice! When your backyard fix comes undone... “¡Este pinche cabrón!” GETS THE SHIT DONE! [Outro – Spoken, Bass Fades] "Hey Gringo, just one quick question..." "Is it a paying question?" "...Well, no." "Then it's gonna be a quick answer." [HARD STOP]

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