BEAUTIFUL MESS [Verse 1 — intimate, restless] I lived numb for so many years, Afraid to let myself go there. Thought if I ever felt it all, I’d come apart beyond repair. That was a lie I told myself, But it felt true for so damn long. Now I’m laughing with my face still wet, Then falling apart at another song. [Pre-Chorus — building] Every feeling’s busting out, For years I’ve kept them locked inside. I turn the music up and shout, “God, please help me to survive.” [Chorus — raw, soulful] God, please help me to survive, There’s so much coming alive. Every song I sing releases more pain, I catch my breath, then it starts again. I’m beyond sad, I’m full of joy, Can You hear me through all this noise? I’m scared to death, but I feel blessed— God, help me through this beautiful mess. [Verse 2 — driving, gritty] Colorado Springs, I’m running on fumes, I want some coffee, can’t find a room. No place to stay, too tired to drive, I slam the wheel and scream and cry. The windows up, the engine off, I scream until it turns to sobs. Then sit there staring at the dash, Too worn out to put my brave face back. [Pre-Chorus — vulnerable, rising] There’s nobody in the passenger seat, I say out loud, “What’s wrong with me?” Then a song comes on that knows this ache, And I sing through every breath I take. [Chorus — raw, soulful] God, please help me to survive, There’s so much coming alive. Every song I sing releases more pain, I catch my breath, then it starts again. I’m beyond sad, I’m full of joy, Can You hear me through all this noise? I’m scared to death, but I feel blessed— God, help me through this beautiful mess. [Verse 3 — warmer, groove opens] Thousands of miles, all kinds of songs, Talking to myself the whole way along. Some days I think I’ve lost my mind, Then the whole world feels like kin. The mountains make me feel so small, Somehow like I belong to it all. I laugh at something nobody said, Still wiping tears from the ones I shed. [Bridge — stripped back, then rising] I don’t know how to hold this much, The grief, the wonder, all at once. I thought I’d never recover if I cried— Now I’m crying, and I’m still alive. I sit until my hands are still, Until I’ve let out all I can. Then find a song I want to hear And let myself begin again. [Final Chorus — powerful, open] God, please help me to survive, There’s so much coming alive. Every song I sing releases more pain, I catch my breath, then I sing again. I’m beyond sad, I’m full of joy, You hear me through all this noise. Still scared to death, still feeling blessed— I’m finding my way through this beautiful mess. [Outro — tender, exhausted] I’m laughing with my face still wet. I haven’t caught my breath just yet. God, stay with me— I’m feeling everything.
