[1970s TRADITIONAL OUTLAW COUNTRY × MODERN COUNTRY RAP | 74 BPM] [One rough male baritone. Gravelly, weathered, emotionally honest. Slow melodic country singing and deliberate, hard-spoken modern rap; never fast. Vintage detuned banjo, warm bass, country drums, mournful harmonica. Organic 1970s analog warmth with deep modern hip-hop low end. First half cold and bitter; second half opens into hard-earned Carolina hope.] [INTRO — SPARSE GUITAR AND HARMONICA] [VERSE 1 — LOW, SUNG] Grand Rapids, February, Five a.m., snow in the street. Could tell you what a gram cost, Couldn't tell you what I'd eat. Powder on the dresser, Little rocks in a sack, Told everybody I was done, Then went right fucking back. Knew every road through Kent County, Still couldn't find my way home. Had friends who used to answer, Till they quit picking up the phone. I swore I had it handled. What a goddamn joke. Fifteen years of "one last time"— My word wasn't worth shit. [CHORUS — BITTER OUTLAW COUNTRY] Cocaine in my rearview, Lord, I know that road. Fifteen years of powder and rocks, And nowhere good to go. I know exactly what it cost me. Ain't a damn thing there to brag about. Cocaine in my rearview— But that ain't the whole story now. [RAP — SLOW, HARD-SPOKEN; MODERN LOW END AND LIVE DRUMS] I got good at counting money that was already spent, Good at making up excuses for wherever the fuck I went. One day turned to three, then a whole week missing, Sat across from somebody talking, never once listening. I'd say, "I'm good, I got this," look 'em dead in the eye, Then slip out the back with another bullshit lie. Wasn't some badass outlaw, wasn't running the town, Just a broke-ass man with his head hung down. Michigan cold coming up through the floor, Knowing damn well what I'd be looking for. I'd curse that shit at sunrise, go and find it after dark, Then act like I was shocked when I tore my life apart. But somewhere in that wreckage, there was still a man alive, Still a reason to get up, still a reason to survive. Couldn't change the past or undo what I'd done. Had to quit chasing that high if I wanted to see the sun. [VERSE 2 — HALF-SUNG; WARMER COUNTRY MELODY] Left those Michigan winters, Left those roads I knew too well. Took the man I'd damn near buried And gave him time to heal. Kent County in the rearview, Ottawa fading out of sight, Headed south with a busted past And a chance to get it right. Fayetteville, Carolina, Different dirt beneath my feet. No more chasing down a feeling, No more running from the heat. Twenty years of waking sober, Twenty years of choosing life. Still got demons in my memory, But they don't run my life. [CHORUS — FULLER COUNTRY ARRANGEMENT] Cocaine in my rearview, Carolina on my mind. One road took fifteen years from me, The other gave me time. Can't get those years back, Can't undo the shit I put folks through. But I've got a life worth living now, And a sky I never knew. Cocaine in my rearview, Those Carolina dreams came true. [BRIDGE — DRUMS OUT; INTIMATE, NEARLY SPOKEN] Lady Red and my kids— That's my whole damn world. I wanna be here watching Every damn one of 'em grow. I want the "Dad, come look at this," The fights, the laughs, the calls. I wanna be the one who answers Whenever one of 'em falls. I missed enough damn moments. Can't buy a single one back. Can't rewrite all those years Or erase the things I lacked. But I can be here tomorrow. I can show up today. I can give them something different From the life I threw away. I don't need some grand speech About how strong I've been. I got people worth staying for. That's where my dreams begin. [FINAL CHORUS — ROUGH, POWERFUL, FULL BAND] Cocaine in my rearview, Let it stay back there. Fifteen years it owned my ass, But it don't own me here. Twenty years of sober mornings, And I'm still seeing things through. Lady Red, my sons and daughters— They're the reason I choose. Carolina on my mind now, Got more living left to do. Traded Michigan's cold nights For a southern sky of blue. I got too much left to live for, Too damn much to lose. Cocaine in my rearview— And Carolina dreams coming true. [OUTRO — SPARSE GUITAR AND HARMONICA] Kent County raised me. Ottawa watched me leave. Fayetteville got the man I fought like hell to be. Fifteen years addicted. Twenty years sober. The past is in that rearview, But my future's getting closer. My kids are still growing. Lady Red's still by my side. Every morning I'm still here Is another reason why. [BEAT OF SILENCE — SPOKEN, NO MUSIC] Michigan addictions gone. I've moved on to Carolina dreams.
