"Space, thee... final frontier…" Tribbles all around me Suspicious lights in the Gamma Quadrant Captain Pike a victim of Talossian mind tricks Orions’ story’s a lie The Deneva Madness was a Romulan plot Ambassador Thelev was a patsy Federation elections rigged by sneaky Cardassians Helped by the Q and Time-travelling Nazis They say we live on a Paranoid Starship Where everything is not as it seems Where white is black and Andorians are symbionts Gotta wake up from this terrible dream A Kelvan assassin in the Phaser Control Room A merciless Borg-mind is pulling the switch My brain in a vat onboard a Klingon cruiser This Romulan ale is really making me itch ...And turn the frickin' Gorns gay! They say we live on a Paranoid Starship Where everything is not as it seems Where sexy green ladies are scheming cosmic marauders Gotta wake up from this terrible dream An Enemy Above me… An Enemy Beneath me… An Enemy Beside me… An Enemy Inside me! Enemies lurking in my Captain’s quarters I grab this Saurian decanter, poised for Helter-Skelter They leap out of the Sick Bay and the Jefferies tubes To shower me with concern... “Dammit Jim! I’m a physician not a head shrink!” Get away from me you shape-shifting vixen! Fire, Mr. Sulu! They say I live on a Paranoid Starship Where baby-faced aliens taunt me on the viewscreen Where my blood is consumed by furry salt-sucking vampires Please wake me up from this terrible dream! They say we live on a Paranoid Starship Where Vee-ger turns out to be a human machine Where Khan stuck some worms inside the brains of my crewmen Please wake me up from this terrible dream! Please! Please! Please wake me up from this terrible dream! You gotta tell 'em… You gotta tell 'em… You gotta tell 'em… Soylent Green is People!
