[Verse 1] I sit up straight and grip the wheel, With total focus, calm and steel. I check the mirror, check the street, My driving skills cannot be beat. But out my window, what a mess, It causes me a lot of stress. A guy is shaving on my left, Of common sense, he is bereft. [Chorus 1] 'Cause everyone's a fool but me, A hazard to society! You swerve around, you ride the brake, You make my steering column shake. I'm flawless when I turn the key, Yes, everyone's a threat but me! [Verse 2] I use my blinker in advance, You treat the highway like a dance. The lady texting in her Ford, Is drifting lanes, oh please good Lord. A teenager is going slow, He doesn't know which way to go. A pickup truck is riding close, His lack of skill is truly gross. [Chorus 2] 'Cause no one else knows how to drive, It’s just a shock we’re still alive! You run the red, you jump the line, Ignoring every single sign. I’m perfect from point A to B, Yeah, everyone’s a clown but me! [Bridge] The yellow light means you should yield, Not drive right through a farmer's field. The passing lane is meant for speed, Is basic logic what you need? A four-way stop is not a race, So wipe that blank look off your face. [Guitar Solo] [Chorus 3] 'Cause everyone's a total wreck, Without a blind-spot shoulder check! You tailgate till we nearly crash, And treat your blinker like a rash. I'm safe as anyone could be, Since everyone is blind but me! [Outro] Just stay away and give me space, I am the master of this place. I'll just ignore the honking sounds, As I patrol the city bounds. I'm flawless when I turn the key, Yeah, everyone is bad but me! [Spoken] Hey! Watch the bumper!
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