[Intro] Haldor tied his boots together, Said, “This knot will last forever.” Took one step to greet the dawn— Both his boots and Haldor gone! [Verse 1] He rolled downhill inside his shield, Past the goats and across the field. A raven stole his helmet clean; He chased it straight into a bean. [Pre-Chorus] “Are you hurt?” “Only my pride!” “Then stand up tall!” “I’m trying—slide!” The whole fjord heard the clatter start, A fearless hero, all elbows and heart! [Chorus] Haldor! Haldor! Mind the door! You’ve just headbutted the oar! Haldor! Haldor! Hold on tight! You’re sailing backward through the night! He’s brave, he’s bold, he’s lost one shoe— The next disaster’s waiting too! [Verse 2] He swung his axe to split a log, Missed the wood and startled the dog. The dog ran off with lunch in tow; Haldor chased it into snow. [Pre-Chorus] “Is that your ship?” “It’s not my ship!” “You’re on a barrel!” “That’s the trick!” The barrel spun and bumped the quay; He waved like captain of the sea! [Chorus] Haldor! Haldor! Mind the door! You’ve just headbutted the oar! Haldor! Haldor! Hold on tight! You’re sailing backward through the night! He’s brave, he’s bold, he’s lost one shoe— The next disaster’s waiting too! [Bridge] At the feast he raised his cup, The tablecloth came with it up. “Skål!” he cried, beneath the plates— A Viking king of second takes! [Breakdown] Boots tied! Shield spun! Goat escaped! Still not done! Axe missed! Dog fled! Barrel captain—clear the shed! [Final Chorus] Haldor! Haldor! Mind the door! You’ve just headbutted the oar! Haldor! Haldor! Hold on tight! You’re sailing backward through the night! He’s brave, he’s bold, he’s lost one shoe— The next disaster’s waiting too! Haldor! Haldor! Raise a cheer! He’ll trip his way to glory here! [Outro] He stood up straight. The crowd said, “Wow!” Then sat back down—on the cow.
