[Intro - dice rattle in a cup and tumble across a wooden table, a low rumble of thunder, then the whole tavern stomps in] (Grollen! Grollen!) Roll the dice! (Roll the dice!) [Verse 1 - quick and patter-like, tankards on the downbeat] Rolls a set of dice As determined by the D20 die system Simply use the verbose, fluid syntax Two, three, four, six, Eight, ten, twelve, twenty, Even a hundred sides Will keep us rolling plenty! [Pre-Chorus] Now call it: true or false! True if high, false if low Roll the roiling thunder and you'll know (Now you know!) [Chorus - the whole tavern, call and response] Grollen! Grollen! (Roll the dice!) Thunder on the table (Roll the dice!) Add them up and drink them down Ten thousand dice in one roll! Grollen! Grollen! Roll again! [Post-Chorus - Spoken, the bard, dry and amused] Now look at that roll: Three-d-six, exclamation, T-One, K-Two... Whatever could it mean? [Verse 2] KEEP! Keep the highest two And let the lowest go TRANSFORM! If a one is rolled We will count it as a six EXPLODE! If a six is rolled Then roll and add again Exploding dice could roll forever (Forever!) First explode, then transform, then keep That's the order of operations [Pre-Chorus] Now call it: how far can it go? The lowest, the highest, the average throw Roll the roiling thunder and you'll know (Now you know!) [Chorus - the whole tavern, call and response] Grollen! Grollen! (Roll the dice!) Thunder on the table (Roll the dice!) Add them up and drink them down Ten thousand dice in one roll! Grollen! Grollen! Roll again! [Verse 3 - faster, the gamblers lean in] Give me a range and I'll give you a roll Every whole number, and nothing outside it With the fewest dice Or the most evenly spread Add a number, or another roll Subtract it, multiply, divide Take the remainder after dividing A roll being built, and the calls all chain [Bridge - hushed, the bard calls and the crowd shouts back] Is the roll valid? Quantity is too low! (Too low!) Decimals are not allowed for dice operations! (Not allowed!) It explodes on all values! (All values!) This is not a roll! (Not a roll!) Ten thousand dice with ten thousand sides, (Ten thousand!) But one more die, or one more side, And now it's too high! [Verse 4 - building back up] This contains a roll for rolling stats Fireball does damage, roll it out Ghouls and zombies, strict or lenient Was it bad, or was it good? Somewhere between the lowest and the highest Seventeen and later need .NET ten Use sixteen if you're still on .NET eight [Pre-Chorus - the bard calls it out, building to the key change] Now call it: chain them in a row! Chain the dice, left to right they go Roll the roiling thunder and you'll know (Now you know!) [Final Chorus - key change, everyone standing on the tables] Grollen! Grollen! (Roll the dice!) Thunder on the table (Roll the dice!) Add them up and drink them down Ten thousand dice in one roll! Through Ninject, or from the factory If you are not using Ninject Grollen! Grollen! Roll again! [Outro - the band drops out, a drunk patron slurs over one rattling cup, and the bard corrects them, crisp and amused] One ghoul an' three zombies... (That's lenient!) One ghoul and five zombies! (That's strict!) (Grollen... Grollen...) Roll the dice... Roll again... [A last die tumbles and settles, and the thunder rolls away]
