Why Is It Doing That?

(Verse 1) [sounding confused but hopeful] I sit down with my laptop, feeling calm, feeling bright, Just a tiny little task, should be done in black‑and‑white. But the cursor starts a‑dancing like it’s got a secret plan, And the window keeps on flashing like it’s yelling, “Catch me if you can!” (Pre‑Chorus) [confusion] I click once… nothing happens. I click twice… now it’s gone?! Did I break the laws of physics Or is my computer just wrong? (Chorus) [frantic, funny, theatrical] Why is it doing that?! I didn’t ask for that! I swear I pressed one button And it opened seventeen tabs! Why is it doing that?! I’m spiraling, in fact— I’m breathing in a paper bag While yelling at the screen like a maniac! (Verse 2) [mild panic] Now the pop‑ups start appearing like a digital parade, And the spinning wheel of doom says, “Honey, I’m not going away.” I’m typing in a password that I know is right this time, But the system shakes its head like, “Nope! Incorrect! Try again, sunshine!” (Pre‑Chorus) [slightly frantic] I reboot… it gets weirder. I refresh… it gets worse! Is the universe against me Or is this machine just cursed?! (Chorus) [bigger, sillier, more frantic] Why is it doing that?! I’m losing every scrap Of dignity I ever had While clicking like a hyperactive cat! Why is it doing that?! I’m seconds from combat— I’m whispering sweet threats To a laptop that’s laughing back! (Bridge) [thatrical] Ohhh I’m sweating, I’m pacing, My sanity’s erasing! The screen freezes up Like it’s smug and embracing The chaos it’s making— My eye starts twitch‑twitch‑twitching! I swear if it beeps one more time I’m gonna start screech‑screech‑screeching! (Final Chorus) [explosive, frantic] Why is it doing that?! I’m trapped in tech combat! I’m shouting at the heavens Like a gremlin in a top hat! Why is it doing that?! I’m DONE, I’m OVER, THAT’S THAT! But deep inside I know the truth… It’s buggy code, not me, in fact! [Final Tag — choir of chaotic gremlins] It’s not you… it’s the bugs… It’s not you… it’s the bugs… [A chorus of confused computers sings:] “It’s not you… it’s the buuuuuugs!”