(Upbeat 60s pop-rock feel) (start with stadium applause a catchy guitar lead solo and the stadium of people singing along with parts of the song) Don’t want to take the Last Train to Splitsville Verse 1 Take the last train to Splitsville And I'll meet you at lane nine We'll be rolling strikes till midnight Everything is gonna be fine And I don't know if I'll get a spare Or a gutter ball tonight Chorus Oh no no no! Oh no no no! Verse 2 Step on up and grab your bowling ball Mind the arrows on the lane Seven-ten split staring back at me Gonna knock 'em down again And I don't know if I'll get a turkey Or go home in shame Chorus Oh no no no! Oh no no no! Bridge Rent your shoes and chalk your fingers Feel the rosin on your hand Every frame is a new beginning Best dang bowler in the land! Verse 3 Take the last train to Splitsville Where the pins are flying high Score a perfect game of three hundred Watch those tenpin columns fly And I don't know if I'll see you When the final scores are read Outro Oh no no no... Oh no no no... (Last train to Splitsville...)
