the gaslit index is terminal the economy is vibes-based money is a collective hallucination and i haven’t blinked since 2024 if you’re reading this water your plants text your crush and maybe, just maybe exit the simulation (but do it slowly so the algorithm doesn’t notice) yo so quick vibe check: the vibes are gone they left the chat and the fed is gaslighting us like a tinder date who won’t Venmo for nachos the economy is fine they say meanwhile i’m buying ramen with pitycoin and my landlord just emailed me a JPEG of a rent increase tagged as an NFT ⸻ THE MATH IS LYING we used to have: • jobs • checks • sanity now we have: • vibeflation • side hustles that are just selling parts of your identity • a crypto chatbot that tried to recruit me into a libertarian cult called YieldDaddy the dollar? dead. ghosted. it left us on “read” and joined a gym in the metaverse. ⸻ THE GASLIT INDEX (aka how we measure if your brain is soup) Symptoms include: • believing the fed is your friend • thinking a 40-year mortgage is “adulting” • having strong opinions about eggs • crying in Trader Joe’s but like… aesthetically current reading: EXTREME GAS spicy unsustainable possibly supernatural the last time it was this high, we declared war on a concept ⸻ TRUST? LOL. WHAT’S THAT? everyone’s lying and we’re just speedrunning collapse like it’s a Twitch challenge CNN says it’s fine Fox says it’s war reddit says buy X says sell TikTok says manifest abundance and my cat says kill the landlord ⸻ FIAT CURRENCY IS A FANDOM you either stan the dollar or you pivot to • JesusCoin • SoilCred • DaddyDAO • or my personal fav: Trauma-backed stable tokens (TBSTs™) people are buying groceries with guilt and memes we’ve gone full Mad Max but it’s sponsored by HelloFresh ⸻ WE’RE NOT ALL IN THIS TOGETHER. WE’RE IN DIFFERENT SIMULATIONS. my senator is tweeting NFTs of empathy my teacher is on OnlyFans teaching econ with puppets my mom bartered a pie for insulin meanwhile some guy named Chad has 4 investment properties and just launched a DAO for selling “unrealized community potential” aka vibes with a wallet address ⸻ SOLUTIONS (BUT NOT REALLY) i asked ChatGPT what to do it told me to “build community” and “diversify my income” then it tried to sell me a course called “Late Capitalism for Early Teens” so now I: • trade lunchables for firewood • store trust in people, not platforms • pay rent in emotional labor and obscure facts about moss ⸻ TL;DR: the gaslit index is terminal the economy is vibes-based money is a collective hallucination and i haven’t blinked since 2024 if you’re reading this water your plants text your crush and maybe, just maybe exit the simulation (but do it slowly so the algorithm doesn’t notice)
