[Key: C major] [BPM: 142] [Intro - dry acoustic guitar, understated bass] Fifteen years old And somebody gave it a name Major depressive disorder Like putting a label On a box Nobody wanted to open [Verse 1 - conversational, restrained] Home had already come apart Then we moved a hundred miles Two years without the people I knew how to be myself around School ended The door shut And I got good at vanishing Spent whole afternoons In my bedroom Talking to strangers Through a glowing screen Nobody knew me there Which was sort of the point [Verse 2 - steady, matter-of-fact] I didn't know why people Seemed to understand each other I didn't know why Every room felt like a test Didn't know there was a name For any of that either So I stayed inside And got quieter Then the thoughts started showing up Not dramatic Not cinematic Just unwanted things Turning up in my head Like they paid rent [Pre-Chorus - subtle lift] At first I thought That meant something Then I learned A thought can be a thought Even a terrible one [Chorus - melodic, restrained] It took a long damn time Before I learned the difference Between something crossing my mind And something I had to do I didn't beat it I didn't cure it I just stopped Doing what it told me Then did that again tomorrow [Verse 3 - slightly more rhythmic] There were years When numb was easier You don't have to miss much If nothing matters very much I got used to the thoughts Coming back around Got used to pretending They weren't there Got used to thinking This was probably Just how my head worked [Verse 4 - warmer but still restrained] Eventually I asked for help Help didn't fix anything Not that week Not that month There were appointments And bad days And trying things That didn't work There were days I left feeling exactly As fucked up as when I arrived So I kept going Not because I felt hopeful Mostly because I'd already spent years Finding out where That other road went [Chorus - fuller, still unsentimental] It took a long damn time Before the volume started changing Not gone Not cured Not some miraculous morning Just fewer days Where the thoughts ran everything A little more space Between the thought And the answer A little less convincing [Bridge - stripped down] That's probably what Nobody puts on the poster Progress can be boring Sometimes it's Taking your medicine Going to the appointment Getting out of bed And doing the dishes Sometimes it's Having the same awful thought You've had a thousand times And recognizing it Before you believe it Nothing heroic happened I just kept practicing [Verse 5 - acoustic and bass, understated] I still get them sometimes They know the way in They still don't knock They just show up And sit down But they don't stay as long And I don't build a house Around them I can hear one Without handing it the keys That's about as exciting As the good news gets [Final Chorus - modest lift, no triumph] It took a long damn time A lot of patience I didn't have A lot of effort On days when effort felt stupid Some pain That didn't make me stronger Some time That didn't teach me anything And little by little The thoughts got quieter Not silent Just quieter [Outro - sparse acoustic for 10 seconds] [End - simple unresolved chord]
