I lost my job to AI. So naturally... I asked AI to help me get another one. AI wrote my resume. I sent the resume to AI. AI sent it to companies... who use AI... to read résumés. So basically... I've outsourced my unemployment to the machines. Now I've got an AI agent reading my email. Another AI tracking applications. Another one sorting job alerts. Another one watching for recruiters. Another one checking interviews. And they all report to another AI... who reports to me. Apparently. Every morning I get my report: "Good morning. One application confirmed. Six new job alerts. Zero recruiters. Zero interviews. No drafts needed today." Thank God. I was worried I'd have to do something. I'm on autopilot. AI is doing its thing. Looking for my next job while I wait for the machine to ring. I'm on autopilot. My future's in the queue. Maybe AI will find me a job. Maybe AI will find me too. Then the AIs started talking to each other. AI says: "Did you find any jobs?" Other AI says: "Yes." "Are they good jobs?" "Define good." "Do they match his resume?" "Which version?" "There's a new version." "Who made it?" "AI." "Which AI?" "Another AI." "Oh." "Did he apply?" "Yes." "Did he approve it?" "No." "Did he need to?" "Apparently not." "Great." [PAUSE] Meanwhile... I'm on the couch. I'm on autopilot. AI is doing its thing. Looking for my next job while I wait for the machine to ring. I'm on autopilot. My future's in the queue. Maybe AI will find me a job. Maybe AI will find me too. AI #1: I found a job. AI #2: I found six. AI #3: I filtered four. AI #4: I rejected two. AI #5: I optimized the resume. AI #6: I rewrote the resume. AI #7: Why? AI #6: Because AI wrote the first one. AI #7: Who approved the second one? AI #6: AI. AI #7: Which AI? AI #6: I don't know. AI #7: Excellent. [MUSIC BUILDS] AI: Application submitted. AI: Application received. AI: Application processed. AI: Application rejected. AI: Why? AI: Not enough experience. AI: How much experience? AI: Five years. AI: He has twenty. AI: Yes. AI: So why did we reject him? AI: The algorithm. AI: Which algorithm? AI: You. [BEAT] AI: Oh. I'm on autopilot. They're doing their thing. One AI's looking for a job. Another AI's checking the thing. I'm on autopilot. My future's in the queue. The AIs are talking to the AIs... And I haven't got a clue. I'm on autopilot. Everything's under control. The machines have got a meeting about the meeting about the role. I'm on autopilot. I'm finally free. I don't know what they're doing... But apparently they're doing it for me. AI: Human detected. AI: Any jobs for him? AI: Yes. AI: Great. What are they? AI: AI Trainer. AI: Perfect. AI: Who's training the AI? AI: The AI. AI: That's efficient.
