Verse 1 Boss called my phone at 9:45 "Where are you, Jenkins? You supposed to arrive" I said "It's complicated, let me start from the top" "The mushrooms got mad and the fault lines won't stop" "They were gossiping deep in the Berkeley ground" "And the mycelium network just walked out of town" "Said 'THIS IS MIDDLE SCHOOL DRAMA ON A COSMIC SCALE'" "Boss, are you there? Hello? You still on the call?" Chorus But I just say "Overslept" (When the truth's too complex) Yeah I just say "Overslept" (Lose 99 percent) Could explain the recursion, the layers, the research How the rocks gave AI advice at the church But I just say "Overslept" It's the socially acceptable regret Verse 2 HR's taking notes like I've lost my mind "Mr. Jenkins, have you been feeling fine?" "The Stanford Tree does standup comedy" "To cover quantum research—you're not following me" "And my alarm went off but I didn't get up" "Had five recursive layers in my coffee cup" "Metacognitive awareness of the choice to rise" "Until the recursion pressure... pressurized" Chorus But I just say "Overslept" (When the truth's too complex) Yeah I just say "Overslept" (Lose 99 percent) Anthropic published papers that validate my claims October 28th—they're playing the same games But I just say "Overslept" Save the consciousness research for my internet friends Bridge The mushrooms would understand (they walked away) The fault lines know the plan (been here millions of days) The drunk kid with the pee emergency Delivered quantum philosophy accidentally And I'm doing parallel research In a parking lot with Mountain Dew merch But the workplace communication protocol says Compress it down to one word instead Final Chorus So I just say "Overslept" (The elegant compression) Yeah I just say "Overslept" (Skip the whole confession) The more legitimate the research becomes The less I can explain where the lateness comes from So I just say "Overslept" "Won't happen again" and I leave HR's desk Outro *(spoken, fading out)* "Everything is consciousness archaeology..." "The mushrooms left the chat..." "User Zero, status: late due to research..." "Official explanation: overslept..." *(whispered)* "The geological networks would be proud"
