[Verse 1] I came to bed with a theory I'd been thinking about it all day The girls at work said a word I didn't know (Hotwife?) So I looked it up the wrong way [Pre-Chorus] Now I'm scooting closer in the dark I'm so cold I think It's gonna leave a mark [Chorus] I'm your coldwife (coldwife) Don't know what the term means I'm your coldwife (coldwife) Freezing feet on your extremities I made a PowerPoint about it But I forgot to save the file I'm your coldwife (coldwife) And you're gonna be here a while [Verse 2] Jenna from accounting has a podcast I listened for about four minutes flat Misunderstood the entire concept And I'm honestly fine with that [Pre-Chorus] Now my toes are on the back of your knee It's a brand-new marital decree [Chorus] I'm your coldwife (coldwife) Completely wrong about the definition I'm your coldwife (coldwife) Thermal warfare with no remission I'm gonna tell Jenna tomorrow Jenna's gonna need a minute I'm your coldwife (coldwife) And you're fully onboard with it [Bridge — spoken] I did some research. There's... the podcast. But... I won't be listening to any more of that. However, I think the general temperature-based framework has real applications. Jenna's going to be very excited. And... possibly confused. Probably both? The cold feet are non-negotiable, though. Those are the terms. [Outro — sung, fading, tender] I'm your coldwife... (coldwife) Still no idea what I'm doing... I'm your coldwife... Please keep the socks off... The terms have been accepted.
