I used 54 as a time to keep to score (Edit)

I used 54 as a time to keep score Of the therapy sessions I used to explore What I had kept hidden behind all those doors But I started to open them at 54 I did not expect 55 to arrive By clearing the shelves I had stocked full of lies About how to be manly and tough and alive So I started restocking at 55. Throw into the mix, now that I’m 56 The sin-stained ruins I’m starting to fix The trauma-brain reflex I’m trying to kick And it’s starting to click, now that I’m 56. [BRIDGE] Fifty-four showed the cracks, Fifty-five brought me back, Fifty-six let me breathe With new habits I need And the years still ahead Aren’t a thing that I dread— ’Cause Jesus once said He gives life to the dead. I think it’s a given, when I’m 57, the mix of my life will still have too much leaven but I’ll get with more clarity glimpses of heaven but still be uneven, when I’m 57. It would be great, when I hit 58 If congruence and wholeness would flood through the gate And forgiveness and mercy would never abate And God would make clear that love conquers hate And it’s never too late though long was the wait for a boy who was eight [outro] That would be great, When I hit 58.