[Verse 1] You rolled your cart like a getaway car, I blocked the lane by the pickle jar. You said, “That last ripe peach is mine!” I said, “We’ll settle it by checkout line.” The freezer doors threw back our glare, A bag of peas went sailing through the air. Then aisle nine rang out, the signs all shook— Two champions squared up over a coupon book. [Chorus] In the aisle of reckoning, we’re toe to toe, Past canned beans and a pyramid of dough. You swing a leek, I duck a lime, We’re making produce history one punch at a time. In the aisle of reckoning, hear the carts collide, For the last jar of jam and our battered pride. But when the bell rings and the whole store stares, We split that peach—and settle upstairs. [Verse 2] You feinted left by the cereal stack, I slid on soap and came right back. A shopper yelled, “Hey, mind the eggs!” We circled twice on discount legs. You tossed a roll; I caught it clean, The deli clerk declared us a tie at the scene. Then you said, “Friend, let’s call a truce— There’s two-for-one on orange juice.” [Chorus] In the aisle of reckoning, we’re toe to toe, Past canned beans and a pyramid of dough. You swing a leek, I duck a lime, We’re making produce history one punch at a time. In the aisle of reckoning, hear the carts collide, For the last jar of jam and our battered pride. But when the bell rings and the whole store stares, We split that peach—and settle upstairs. [Bridge] The manager came with a clipboard grin, Said, “Put those groceries back again.” We laughed so hard that the tension broke, Then shared one donut and a soda float. [Final Chorus] In the aisle of reckoning, we’re side by side, With a cart full of bargains and our bruised-up pride. You take the leek, I’ll take the lime, We’ll meet by the bakery next shopping time. In the aisle of reckoning, the feud is through, I’ll save you the peach if you save me two. The checkout lights blink, the whole store cheers— We came for the groceries, left as volunteers! [Outro] Aisle nine, all clear, let the good times roll, Two friends, one cart, and a peach we stole— Not stole, just split; let the record show, The sweetest deals are the ones you share, you know.
