Blessing Or A Scar

[Verse 1] When I die Will you remember me On a bathroom floor Laughing at three in the morning Plastic cups Spilling on the carpet Your name Slurred in my mouth like a prayer Or will it be The way we burned the sheets Hands on your back Like I was holding on to the world Breath on your neck Like an apology I never learned How to say out loud [Chorus] Was I a blessing or a scar On your tender heart Did I ever make it better Or just paint over the dark I did the best I could With these shaking hands of mine If you ever shed a tear Let it fall Let it fall And know I tried [Verse 2] Will you remember me Slamming doors Sharp tongue Cold shoulders The way my anger Wore your patience thin All that distance Sitting side by side Me staring through you Like a ghost in my own life I was wrestling shadows Every waking second Monsters in my chest Claws on my spine Never meant to cut you When the claws came out I was bleeding too Just on the inside [Chorus] Was I a blessing or a scar On your tender heart Did I ever make it better Or just paint over the dark I did the best I could With these shaking hands of mine If you ever shed a tear Let it fall Let it fall And know I tried [Bridge] If you talk about me Years from now Tell them I was stubborn And so So tired Tell them you saw me Fighting in the fire Tell them I loved you Even when I couldn't Love myself [Chorus] Was I a blessing or a scar On your tender heart Did I ever make it better Or just paint over the dark I did the best I could With these shaking hands of mine If you whisper to the sky Say my name Say my name And know I tried