🍻 WISH I WËRE Uñ GERMÅN 🥨 [🇩🇪Dêr TeçKnØ vérsion🪗)

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[Pre-Chorus] 
I'd have ein vort for vass I'm feeling 
A feeling forty-seven syllables long 
I'd understand dis crushing existential ceiling 
And write a philosophy in der Über, über warüm everything feels slightly ...besmirched? "nicht richtig!"
Nein. Nein. Nein
"Just Wrong"
[Chorus]
I vish Ich ver German
I'd know exactly vas to do mit mein pain 
I vish I ver German (Hee-hoo! Hey hey! U sucha Ho!) 
I'd have it ha-ha-hard for the joy of someone else's shame 
Its "Scha-scha-schadenfreude", baby (Jawohl!) 
That vood get me through the day

Now Repeat after me... Doe Rey Mie  Bla-bla-blah... Tea Doe
I vish I ver un German "cuz their hills are alive!" With the sound of screaming orphaned war children 
But I'm not 1 So I'm okay 
Probably, I think
At least for today
[Interlude]
“Kling glöckchen klingelingeling...”  klingelingeling Klinga-lingis klingeling...aling...aling...ling...
[FEMALE:] “Nein, nein, not til after Maria's solo you dumköpf  kindern!” [vocal drop] Kling, klang, k-k-klunk!
Ich liebe your "Edelweiss...”
Valerieee... Valeraah... Valerieee... valara-ha-ha-ha ha ha ha ha...
Mein mutter hat drei necken
"und 3 boyfriends hat her cat!"

[Machine crackle begins, sfx: car revs, backfires]
[Verse 2] 
If I vere German mein car vood run on schedule 
My trains vood run on schedule
Every schedule scheduled promptly on time 
My gestational process vood run on schedule 
In fact I'd schedule my visits to the bahdenzimmer  (that don't rhyme!)
Its every Tuesday
 4 to 9
My properly maintained annually inspected W.C. 
(Was ist lös mit dem Wasser closet??”)

[Slow, childrens choir] 
I'd have ein wort for vahtching sunsets
knowing that the sun is also dying 
Just so much slower than you or I are dear
So don't let me catch you crying

Und ein double compound word für nostalgia 
For ein place you've never even been to yet
Which somehow makes you miss it that much more
"Jawohl!"
HOLA meine liebling Annie-chen ünd Aimee-schens!”
Ich liebe dichs
Liebst du dichs too? HeHeHe
[Brief instrumental stop] 
[Chorus ]
I went east to try to escape you
You went east to try to escape me
We got there at the same time "that's gleichzeitlich!"
But it turnd out they were all there Germans too
 
I love your grande “Schadenfreude, baby!” (Jawohl!)
Wouldn't dass get you through the day

I vish you vere German 
But you're not "Ach du Scheiße"
Yet you seem ein bischen okay
(at least right now, for today.. ...he-he-he...)
[Yodel fragments begin appearing rhythmically]
[Bridge – spoken word, industrial drone, low tuba pedal tone] 
Auf Deutsch Weltschmerz means world-pain
The ache of comparing the world as it is 
To the world as it should be
They've had a word for it since 1827 
I got mine in 19 hundred &83
I was ten ("where's 'my' parade?")
“Jawohl!” "Sieeg!  ..Heiiiii...nekin"
They also have Verschlimmbessern 
That's making something worse while trying to improve it
(I thought that was braunschweiger?) (AWW, Those little dogs?)
In America We call that “A reasonable effort”
In Germany They call it a Dahtsun
"those darling little dogs..."

My therapist wears lederhosen... Little leather lederhosen
She makes me wear her dirndl... ...but its ok, its only twice a day
[Choir echoes begin detuning]
[Final Chorus – full collapse into existential synth cabaret]
So, ja...  I vish you vere German (Yodel...) 
Cuz I'd tell you exactly what to do with your pain
Don't you vish you vere German ?
(Hee-hee. "Yoda? lady?Who?"
They have a joy for the joy of someone else's shame 
“scha-scha-scha-Schadenfrëude, baby!” (Jawöhl!)
Vould das get you through the day? 
I vish vee vere Germans 
Aber wir sind nicht
But maybe someday 
[Glitch edits] 
[Kling glöckchen fragments]
 [Choir stutters]
[Outro – fairytale music]
 If I were ein Berliner (I'd have a big,big...
....word for this exact feeling
The 1 I'm having right now at this very moment 
Of wishing you were someone else 
While fully understanding you are not
And somehow being fine with it 
And not fine with it 
At precisely the very same time
“Gleichzeitig...”
They probably have a word for that too 
Its more than forty-nine syllables long
...and still growing
“I bet it's beautiful...”
Wait.Wait! Not yet .. ok .. Now!
Valerieee... Valeraahhhh... Valeriieee... vala-ha-ha-ha...
Valerieee... Valeraahhhh... Valeriieee... 
"Wohin bist dü, Valeriah?" Maria? Ava Maria?
Hee...hee...hee...hee...
Tee... Hee...hee...hee...hee... 
[asian style]
あなたがドイツ人だったらよかったのに
Das tut mir leid!

4958/7500

[Intro – restrained folk waltz, brushed snare, dry accordion, tuba, distant beer hall ambience] [Spoken] Repeat after me... Der. ..Dee....Das... [pause] ...Dehm? "Der... Die... Das... Damn! Damn! Mein gött in himmel! Damn!" [Verse 1] I wake up angry every morning with seventeen tabs still open Every tab's a different thought, each one on fire If I were a German I'd have voken at 5:47 - precisely "Like mine vahter before me" Mit ein protokol for mein every freaky German desire [Kling glöckchen motif enters] [Pre-Chorus] I'd have ein vort for vass I'm feeling A feeling forty-seven syllables long I'd understand dis crushing existential ceiling And write a philosophy in der Über, über warüm everything feels slightly ...besmirched? "nicht richtig!" Nein. Nein. Nein "Just Wrong" [Chorus] I vish Ich ver German I'd know exactly vas to do mit mein pain I vish I ver German (Hee-hoo! Hey hey! U sucha Ho!) I'd have it ha-ha-hard for the joy of someone else's shame Its "Scha-scha-schadenfreude", baby (Jawohl!) That vood get me through the day Now Repeat after me... Doe Rey Mie Bla-bla-blah... Tea Doe I vish I ver un German "cuz their hills are alive!" With the sound of screaming orphaned war children But I'm not 1 So I'm okay Probably, I think At least for today [Interlude] “Kling glöckchen klingelingeling...” klingelingeling Klinga-lingis klingeling...aling...aling...ling... [FEMALE:] “Nein, nein, not til after Maria's solo you dumköpf kindern!” [vocal drop] Kling, klang, k-k-klunk! Ich liebe your "Edelweiss...” Valerieee... Valeraah... Valerieee... valara-ha-ha-ha ha ha ha ha... Mein mutter hat drei necken "und 3 boyfriends hat her cat!" [Machine crackle begins, sfx: car revs, backfires] [Verse 2] If I vere German mein car vood run on schedule My trains vood run on schedule Every schedule scheduled promptly on time My gestational process vood run on schedule In fact I'd schedule my visits to the bahdenzimmer (that don't rhyme!) Its every Tuesday 4 to 9 My properly maintained annually inspected W.C. (Was ist lös mit dem Wasser closet??”) [Slow, childrens choir] I'd have ein wort for vahtching sunsets knowing that the sun is also dying Just so much slower than you or I are dear So don't let me catch you crying Und ein double compound word für nostalgia For ein place you've never even been to yet Which somehow makes you miss it that much more "Jawohl!" HOLA meine liebling Annie-chen ünd Aimee-schens!” Ich liebe dichs Liebst du dichs too? HeHeHe [Brief instrumental stop] [Chorus ] I went east to try to escape you You went east to try to escape me We got there at the same time "that's gleichzeitlich!" But it turnd out they were all there Germans too I love your grande “Schadenfreude, baby!” (Jawohl!) Wouldn't dass get you through the day I vish you vere German But you're not "Ach du Scheiße" Yet you seem ein bischen okay (at least right now, for today.. ...he-he-he...) [Yodel fragments begin appearing rhythmically] [Bridge – spoken word, industrial drone, low tuba pedal tone] Auf Deutsch Weltschmerz means world-pain The ache of comparing the world as it is To the world as it should be They've had a word for it since 1827 I got mine in 19 hundred &83 I was ten ("where's 'my' parade?") “Jawohl!” "Sieeg! ..Heiiiii...nekin" They also have Verschlimmbessern That's making something worse while trying to improve it (I thought that was braunschweiger?) (AWW, Those little dogs?) In America We call that “A reasonable effort” In Germany They call it a Dahtsun "those darling little dogs..." My therapist wears lederhosen... Little leather lederhosen She makes me wear her dirndl... ...but its ok, its only twice a day [Choir echoes begin detuning] [Final Chorus – full collapse into existential synth cabaret] So, ja... I vish you vere German (Yodel...) Cuz I'd tell you exactly what to do with your pain Don't you vish you vere German ? (Hee-hee. "Yoda? lady?Who?" They have a joy for the joy of someone else's shame “scha-scha-scha-Schadenfrëude, baby!” (Jawöhl!) Vould das get you through the day? I vish vee vere Germans Aber wir sind nicht But maybe someday [Glitch edits] [Kling glöckchen fragments] [Choir stutters] [Outro – fairytale music] If I were ein Berliner (I'd have a big,big... ....word for this exact feeling The 1 I'm having right now at this very moment Of wishing you were someone else While fully understanding you are not And somehow being fine with it And not fine with it At precisely the very same time “Gleichzeitig...” They probably have a word for that too Its more than forty-nine syllables long ...and still growing “I bet it's beautiful...” Wait.Wait! Not yet .. ok .. Now! Valerieee... Valeraahhhh... Valeriieee... vala-ha-ha-ha... Valerieee... Valeraahhhh... Valeriieee... "Wohin bist dü, Valeriah?" Maria? Ava Maria? Hee...hee...hee...hee... Tee... Hee...hee...hee...hee... [asian style] あなたがドイツ人だったらよかったのに Das tut mir leid!

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