[Verse 1] Me and Ligeia sweepin' out, the abbey's dusty floor We got it all clean, 'til who opens the door? It's Toby Bonesy, his joints clackin' hard, I run over to hug him, and I drop my guard. Then I see you— Flappin' the dirt in with your filthy feathered wings, Breath still stinkin' with some ungodly drink. Goddamn, Dookie Bird... Dookie Bird... [Chorus] Oh, Dookie Bird, I poured my heart in your feathered breast, Pressed my muzzle to your beak while I got undressed My hackles bristled, it was my first time, I felt comfort in the calm when we were entwined. You were more than just a fuck, it was your hopeful words— And I can't..., goddamn Dookie Bird. [Verse 2] You just flew off when she died, left me with my grief, Serenity a lie, where was your peace? Toby chased after, and I took the Twelve Oaths, But... it all comes back to me, seein' you both. I hear your hoot— A hint of hope in the darkness, can it be wrong? Your feathers flit, together we can be strong! Goddamn, Dookie Bird... Dookie Bird! [Chorus] Oh, Dookie Bird, I found my faith in your feathered touch, Tail just twitchin', eyes wide, I love you so fuckin' much! Your wings flare out! I throw off my habit, I feel the heat of salvation as we're fucking like rabbits. This is more than just a fuck, the feel of faith returned— Oh, I need to be close to you, goddamn Dookie Bird! [Breakdown] Now you're hootin' again, makin' me swoon, But you're talkin' of visions, that you saw in some spoon. You tell me we're doomed, certain your eyes, You're resigned to this fate 'cause they're up in the sky. I laugh that you're dumb, you're so absurd! Dookie, you bastard, you're a goddamn fucking bird! [Instrumental interlude] [Verse 3] Run my claws through your ploomage all fluffed, Feathers are flyin', I can't get enough! I renounce my oath... unsheathe Excalibur... God... I don't care, just me and you, feathers fur! Growlin' your name— Dookie, oh Dookie Bird, you're flapping! You're flapping!! The organ fuckin' blasts, and it's happening!!! Holy fuck, Dookie Bird... Dookie Bird!! [Final Chorus] Oh, Dookie Bird!! I pledge my sword to your feathered quest, I'll find my fuckin' leather, while you clean up this mess. Your head's spinnin' 'round, and I'm hearin' a clack. We'd better hurry up 'cause Toby's almost back, This was more than just a fuck, we're savin' the world— I'm fuckin' in love with you, Dookie Bird!
