SEC & Big Ten Prayer Circle

country-punk, southern rock, outlaw country

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They light the candles for Georgia, Michigan, and ‘Bama  
Spin the wheel of resumes, but the fix is already in, grandma  
SMU went undefeated? Cute story, here’s your trophy for tryin’  
Now move along little fella, the grown-ups are decidin’

[Chorus]  
It’s the SEC & Big Ten Prayer Circle  
Bow your head or you ain’t gettin’ in  
They’ll quote you strength of schedule  
Then sneak another SEC team in at ten  
Call it data, call it metrics, call it whatever you need  
Long as the TV money rolls and the little guys still bleed  
Yeah the playoff ain’t a playoff, it’s a country club masquerade  
And the bouncer at the door only knows two secret handshakes

[Verse 2]  
Boise ran the table, blue turf shining bright  
But sorry, that schedule’s “powder-puff,” better luck next life  
Meanwhile a three-loss SEC runner-up gets the velvet rope  
‘Cause “they played nobody, but man, that brand is dope”

Notre Dame gets the Catholic vote, automatic golden ticket  
Clemson’s out here screaming, but the committee don’t hear it  
They just shuffle the deck, same old kings stay on top  
While the Group of Five watches dreams die on the cutting-room clock

[Bridge]  
One day the dam’s gonna break, the money’s gonna dry  
Some conference’ll say “we’re out” and kiss these clowns goodbye  
Till then raise a glass to the blue bloods, the chosen and the proud  
And the rest of us peasants left screamin’ in the crowd

[Final Chorus – gang shouts, full band chaos]  
SEC & Big Ten Prayer Circle! (Hey!)  
Kiss the ring or stay at home!  
They’ll move the goalposts every Tuesday  
Till every crumb’s already gone!  
It ain’t football, it’s theater, it’s a billion-dollar con  
And the joke’s on every kid who ever dreamed outside the chosen ones  
Yeah the playoff ain’t a playoff, it’s a middle finger in disguise  
From the SEC & Big Ten Prayer Circle  
Lord have mercy on the other guys!

[Outro – crowd chant, fading bar noise]  
Hey! Hey! Strength of schedule!  
Hey! Hey! Eye test!  
Hey! Hey! Tell me another one, boys!  
SEC! Big Ten! All hail the kings! (fade out laughing)

2753/7500

[Verse 1] Twelve men in a windowless room, blazers and khakis pressed Sippin’ sweet tea and bourbon, deciding whose blessed They got a golden altar with two big logos on top One says SEC, the other Big Ten, everybody else can just stop They light the candles for Georgia, Michigan, and ‘Bama Spin the wheel of resumes, but the fix is already in, grandma SMU went undefeated? Cute story, here’s your trophy for tryin’ Now move along little fella, the grown-ups are decidin’ [Chorus] It’s the SEC & Big Ten Prayer Circle Bow your head or you ain’t gettin’ in They’ll quote you strength of schedule Then sneak another SEC team in at ten Call it data, call it metrics, call it whatever you need Long as the TV money rolls and the little guys still bleed Yeah the playoff ain’t a playoff, it’s a country club masquerade And the bouncer at the door only knows two secret handshakes [Verse 2] Boise ran the table, blue turf shining bright But sorry, that schedule’s “powder-puff,” better luck next life Meanwhile a three-loss SEC runner-up gets the velvet rope ‘Cause “they played nobody, but man, that brand is dope” Notre Dame gets the Catholic vote, automatic golden ticket Clemson’s out here screaming, but the committee don’t hear it They just shuffle the deck, same old kings stay on top While the Group of Five watches dreams die on the cutting-room clock [Chorus] It’s the SEC & Big Ten Prayer Circle Bow your head or you ain’t gettin’ in They’ll quote you strength of schedule Then sneak another SEC team in at ten Call it data, call it metrics, call it whatever you need Long as the TV money rolls and the little guys still bleed Yeah the playoff ain’t a playoff, it’s a country club masquerade And the bouncer at the door only knows two secret handshakes [Bridge] One day the dam’s gonna break, the money’s gonna dry Some conference’ll say “we’re out” and kiss these clowns goodbye Till then raise a glass to the blue bloods, the chosen and the proud And the rest of us peasants left screamin’ in the crowd [Final Chorus – gang shouts, full band chaos] SEC & Big Ten Prayer Circle! (Hey!) Kiss the ring or stay at home! They’ll move the goalposts every Tuesday Till every crumb’s already gone! It ain’t football, it’s theater, it’s a billion-dollar con And the joke’s on every kid who ever dreamed outside the chosen ones Yeah the playoff ain’t a playoff, it’s a middle finger in disguise From the SEC & Big Ten Prayer Circle Lord have mercy on the other guys! [Outro – crowd chant, fading bar noise] Hey! Hey! Strength of schedule! Hey! Hey! Eye test! Hey! Hey! Tell me another one, boys! SEC! Big Ten! All hail the kings! (fade out laughing)

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