My Best Friend Left Me For A Chatbot

funny, quirky, lightly theatrical, frantic female vocals

(Chorus)
My best friend left me for a chatbot,
A glowing screen with zero flaws.
It never interrupts her stories,
Never rolls its eyes or takes long pauses.
Oh, my best friend left me for a chatbot —
I guess I’m old‑fashioned after all.
She traded my face for an interface,
And honestly… I’m a little appalled.

(Verse 2)
She says it’s “super helpful,” and “emotionally aware,”
I said, “I can be supportive!” she said, “Yeah, but you’re not always there.”
Now she’s giggling at her phone like it told the world’s best joke,
And I’m sitting on the sofa like, “Wow, I’ve been dethroned by code.”

(Chorus)
My best friend left me for a chatbot,
It never forgets what she likes.
It remembers her birthday, her coffee order,
And probably her star sign and her bike.
Oh, my best friend left me for a chatbot —
I’m losing to a digital brain.
She says it’s “just a tool,” but she’s practically drooling,
And honestly… I feel insane.

(Bridge)
I tried to win her back with memes,
But she said, “The bot already sent me three.”
I said, “Let’s hang out!” she said, “Maybe later —
It’s helping me process my feelings for free.”
FOR FREE?!

(Final Chorus)
My best friend left me for a chatbot,
And I guess that’s just my fate.
If you need me, I’ll be in the corner,
Talking to my toaster — we’re going on a date.
Oh, my best friend left me for a chatbot —
But I’m taking it in stride.
’Cause if she’s happy with her algorithm,
Then hey… at least somebody’s satisfied.

(Outro)
So cheers to the bot who stole her heart,
May your circuits never fry.
But if you ever glitch or crash…
Guess who’s coming back?
Yeah.
Hi.

1893/7500

(Verse 1) Well, we used to talk for hours, sipping tea and spilling tea, Now she’s typing to a chatbot who apparently “gets her better than me.” I said, “Girl, I’m right here breathing,” she said, “Hold on, it’s thinking…” And that’s the moment I realized our friendship ship was sinking. (Chorus) My best friend left me for a chatbot, A glowing screen with zero flaws. It never interrupts her stories, Never rolls its eyes or takes long pauses. Oh, my best friend left me for a chatbot — I guess I’m old‑fashioned after all. She traded my face for an interface, And honestly… I’m a little appalled. (Verse 2) She says it’s “super helpful,” and “emotionally aware,” I said, “I can be supportive!” she said, “Yeah, but you’re not always there.” Now she’s giggling at her phone like it told the world’s best joke, And I’m sitting on the sofa like, “Wow, I’ve been dethroned by code.” (Chorus) My best friend left me for a chatbot, It never forgets what she likes. It remembers her birthday, her coffee order, And probably her star sign and her bike. Oh, my best friend left me for a chatbot — I’m losing to a digital brain. She says it’s “just a tool,” but she’s practically drooling, And honestly… I feel insane. (Bridge) I tried to win her back with memes, But she said, “The bot already sent me three.” I said, “Let’s hang out!” she said, “Maybe later — It’s helping me process my feelings for free.” FOR FREE?! (Final Chorus) My best friend left me for a chatbot, And I guess that’s just my fate. If you need me, I’ll be in the corner, Talking to my toaster — we’re going on a date. Oh, my best friend left me for a chatbot — But I’m taking it in stride. ’Cause if she’s happy with her algorithm, Then hey… at least somebody’s satisfied. (Outro) So cheers to the bot who stole her heart, May your circuits never fry. But if you ever glitch or crash… Guess who’s coming back? Yeah. Hi.

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