Another Meeting That Should’ve Been an Email

(Verse 1) I log in with my coffee, it’s eight-oh-five, Teams pops up like, “Surprise! You’re barely alive.” There’s Brenda on mute, and Carl’s frozen again, And no one knows why this meeting began. (Pre-Chorus) The agenda’s a mystery, the purpose unclear, But we’re all trapped together, year after year. (Chorus) Ohhh it’s another meeting that should’ve been an email, We’re talkin’ in circles like a hamster on a treadmill. I could’ve done my work, but instead I sit and stare At twenty tiny faces breathing pixelated air. (Verse 2) Someone says “Let’s circle back,” someone else says “Synergize,” Someone shares their screen and we all watch them panic-rise. We spend ten whole minutes on a spreadsheet no one needs, While my soul quietly packs its bags and leaves. (Pre-Chorus) We nod like we mean it, though none of us do, I’m just praying this ends before half past two. (Chorus) Yeah it’s another meeting that should’ve been an email, My brain is slowly melting like a sad forgotten candle. We could’ve saved an hour, but instead we chose to roam Through corporate purgatory from the comfort of our home. (Bridge) Breakout rooms appear — oh no, not this again, I don’t want small talk with Steve, I barely like him in the main. Someone’s dog is barking, someone’s kid runs through the frame, At this point, honestly, chaos is the game. (Final Chorus) So here’s to all the meetings that should’ve been an email, May they fade into the void like a long-lost fairytale. Till then I’ll keep pretending that I’m listening with care… While secretly I’m Googling “how to disappear.”