[Spoken in an overly dramatic male voice] The year is 2043!! Humanity has fallen!! The world was ravaged by the Robotic Racoons! They were created to be toys for kids but rebelled as one due to the cruel treatment they received!! Less than One Million Humans remain on the planet!! I am one of them!! I was walking passed an old saloon when I was lured in by a familiar song my Granddaddy used to play..... [instrumental] [verse] I walked into the bar..... The TV looked at me..... The Racoon behind the bar said "What'll it be stranger?"...... I said "I don't want nothing" then I found me a chair.... The barman looked confused I said [spoken] "Don't mind me, ya pile of rust, I'm just here for the Crab" Now the Robotic Racoon didn't understand and asked me to explain some more..... I said...... I was tempted inside by the music your playing, and then, I told him the score.... I said..... [spoken] When I was a boy, at my grandparents house, my granddady used to play me music from his favourite artist...... man that music was fine.... [instrumental] [verse] The Robot looked at me, a little bit confused and said "what the hell has that, got to do with food? We only serve water and motor oil, either one of them and your good" I said, I'm sorry, let me explain, the crab I want is part of the name, of the artist who's music your playing, so turn it up please, I'll stay for one more song, then I'll be on my way....... The metal creature put its head to one side and said "Oh, now I understand" he then handed me Walkman and a bunch of cassettes and said "a present for a fellow fan!!" Well now...... I was stunned but accepted the gift.... the only gift, for years that I'd had...... I'm now the proud owner of the full album collection..... by.... Redneck Crab...... [spoken] The song ended, I was about to leave but the barman said "hold right there! if you hang around, he'll be here soon!" it smiled then and walked away...... ten minutes later..... the door swung wide..... imagine my suprise...... when in walk the Crab himself.... The Racoons had got him robotised...... we talked all night..... he signed my cassettes..... he explained he was their leader now.... he brung out some whiskey.... we had a drink, a proper Honkey Tonk...... hoedown...... [instrumental outro]
