[Intro: riff hits, sleigh bells over guitars] (Jingle this!) One, two, three, four! [Verse 1: sung, swagger] Woke up on Mount Crumpit with a bad attitude Whos down in Whoville singin' way too rude Fifty-three years of that noise in my ear So this year Christmas disappears! [Pre-Chorus: building] Max, get the antler! (Woof!) Load up the sleigh! We're takin' it all, yeah, we're takin' it all away! [Chorus: shouted anthem, gang vocals] MR. GRINCH! (MR. GRINCH!) Stealin' every gift in town! MR. GRINCH! (MR. GRINCH!) Burn your wish list to the ground! Tree gone! Lights gone! Roast beast in the sack! Mr. Grinch came to town and he ain't givin' it back! (Whoa-oh-oh-oh!) [Verse 2: faster, funnier] Slidin' down chimneys in a discount Santa fit Took the last can of Who-hash and I'm proud of it Cindy Lou Who caught me red-handed by the tree Said "Santa, why?" — "Uh... quality control, sweetie!" Heart two sizes too small, but the bag is XXL Jingle all the bells, man, I'm ringin' 'em myself! [Pre-Chorus] Max, get the antler! (Woof!) Pedal to the floor! Every Who in Whoville's got nothin' anymore! [Chorus: shouted anthem] MR. GRINCH! (MR. GRINCH!) Stealin' every gift in town! MR. GRINCH! (MR. GRINCH!) Burn your wish list to the ground! Tree gone! Lights gone! Roast beast in the sack! Mr. Grinch came to town and he ain't givin' it back! (Whoa-oh-oh-oh!) [Guitar Solo: sleigh bells over shredding] [Bridge: half-time, spoken over drums and bass] Top of Mount Crumpit... ten thousand feet of drop... I'm about to yeet Christmas right off this rock... And then I hear it... (ding... ding... ding...) They're SINGING. Without presents. WITHOUT PRESENTS?! Max... my chest is doin' somethin' weird... Is this... feelings?! (It grew!) OH NO, IT GREW THREE SIZES! GUYS, TAKE IT BACK UP! HIT IT! [Verse 3: full energy, triumphant] Slidin' down the mountain with the brakes burned out Sleigh doin' ninety and the Whos all shout Brought back the tree and the Who-berry pie Carvin' the roast beast, look me in the eye! Still a little grinchy, that ain't gonna change But Christmas came anyway — ain't that strange? [Final Chorus: biggest, everyone singing] MR. GRINCH! (MR. GRINCH!) Brought back every gift to town! MR. GRINCH! (MR. GRINCH!) Turned that whole thing right around! Tree's back! Lights back! Feast is on the rack! Mr. Grinch carved the beast — WHOVILLE GOT IT BACK! (Whoa-oh-oh-oh!) [Outro: bells and feedback fade] Merry Grinchmas, ya filthy Whos... (Max... we're keepin' the leftovers, right?) (Arf!)
